Post by The Bradley Clan on Sept 4, 2011 3:14:45 GMT -5
(Trent Lewis is backstage with Mike.)
Trent: Mike, tonight you're in a six-man tag team match against Dean Maddoxxx, Eddie Kingston, and the man who defeated you in your debut two weeks ago, Joel Hall, but your tag team partners are Skinner Morris, and interestingly, Andre Holmes of The Fallen, a group that, as far as we know, you want nothing to do with.
(Mike pauses to absorb the crowd chanting "Meta! Meta!" and looks at Trent.)
Mike: First of all, was "To Catch a Predator" cancelled or something? Because it looks like Chris Hansen found a new job. Why don't you have a seat over there and I'll take it from here, son.
(Mike grabs the stick and points and wiggles his finger to his left.)
Mike: Go on. Go do your job. Go catch child molesters.
(Trent doesn't understand what's going on. Mike looks disgusted, but then his eyes pop.)
Mike: Hey, look! It's Bigfoot and Jimmy Hoffa riding the Loch Ness Monster!
(Trent turns in astonishment, and Mike shoves him off camera. The crowd pops.)
Mike: (looking at Trent) Dumbass.
(back to the camera)
So yeah. Six-man tag match. In name only. Because when you look at the two teams, it's really a 1-on-1 match with two assclowns on each team who should stay the hell out of our way.
You got two world-beaters in yours truly and Eddie Kingston. Eddie, I respect what you've accomplished, and it's a shame we have this baggage they call tag-team partners with us, because I assure you we don't need these idiots to put on a hell of a show.
(Crowd cheers.)
I mean really... Dean Maddoxxx? (says it "mad-ducksssssss-sss--sss") The man really has a fitting nickname when you think about it, because who in their right mind pays any attention to any kind of "parental warning"?
(Crowd laughs.)
"Sure, I'll buy this Eminem CD. 'Parental Advisory'? Screw off. Sure, I'll go see Gran Torino. 'Under 17 not admitted without parent'? Bitch please." And so on.
Skinner Morris..... Who?
(Crowd laughs.)
Onward.
Then there's Joel Hall.
(Crowd boos. Mike facepalms for a bit.)
Joel... two weeks ago, your ass was grass. You were beat. I knew it, you knew it, everyone on the face of the planet Earth knew it. And then your wife/sister jumped on the apron and proved to the world that only a man with no cajones whatsoever would punch another man in his to end a losing streak.
(More heat.)
Must. Be. Nice.
And then... there's Andre Holmes.
Storytime, kids... Once upon a time, a very special lady approached a handsome young man and made him an offer to be part of the best stable in GZWA. The offer seemed too good to be true - because it was.
You wanna talk a big game? You wanna tell me you'll "soon hold every title in GZWA"? Well, you trolls that call yourselves "The Fallen" better step up your game before I start mopping the floor with your hair-dying, eyeliner-wearing, wrist-slitting, Simple Plan-listening candy asses!
(crowd pops)
I mean, what are you gonna do when big things start raining on you, turn into bats? "I'm so Goth, I crap Hot Topic merchandise!"
(Crowd laughs. Mike puts on his serious face.)
If you think I'm here to make friends, play nice, and other sunshine-lollipops-and-rainbows bullcrap, you are sadly mistaken. I'm here for the only reason anyone should be here - to be GZWA World Champion. And if I burn a few bridges to get there, so be it. Morris, Holmes... you don't just get my trust because you're my tag-team partners for a night. I don't know you, so I can't trust you. You numb nuts, as well as Hall and Maddoxxx, better stay out of my way... I have a match with Eddie Kingston, and you're just spectators.
AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW...
... now you know.
(drops the mic)
Trent: Mike, tonight you're in a six-man tag team match against Dean Maddoxxx, Eddie Kingston, and the man who defeated you in your debut two weeks ago, Joel Hall, but your tag team partners are Skinner Morris, and interestingly, Andre Holmes of The Fallen, a group that, as far as we know, you want nothing to do with.
(Mike pauses to absorb the crowd chanting "Meta! Meta!" and looks at Trent.)
Mike: First of all, was "To Catch a Predator" cancelled or something? Because it looks like Chris Hansen found a new job. Why don't you have a seat over there and I'll take it from here, son.
(Mike grabs the stick and points and wiggles his finger to his left.)
Mike: Go on. Go do your job. Go catch child molesters.
(Trent doesn't understand what's going on. Mike looks disgusted, but then his eyes pop.)
Mike: Hey, look! It's Bigfoot and Jimmy Hoffa riding the Loch Ness Monster!
(Trent turns in astonishment, and Mike shoves him off camera. The crowd pops.)
Mike: (looking at Trent) Dumbass.
(back to the camera)
So yeah. Six-man tag match. In name only. Because when you look at the two teams, it's really a 1-on-1 match with two assclowns on each team who should stay the hell out of our way.
You got two world-beaters in yours truly and Eddie Kingston. Eddie, I respect what you've accomplished, and it's a shame we have this baggage they call tag-team partners with us, because I assure you we don't need these idiots to put on a hell of a show.
(Crowd cheers.)
I mean really... Dean Maddoxxx? (says it "mad-ducksssssss-sss--sss") The man really has a fitting nickname when you think about it, because who in their right mind pays any attention to any kind of "parental warning"?
(Crowd laughs.)
"Sure, I'll buy this Eminem CD. 'Parental Advisory'? Screw off. Sure, I'll go see Gran Torino. 'Under 17 not admitted without parent'? Bitch please." And so on.
Skinner Morris..... Who?
(Crowd laughs.)
Onward.
Then there's Joel Hall.
(Crowd boos. Mike facepalms for a bit.)
Joel... two weeks ago, your ass was grass. You were beat. I knew it, you knew it, everyone on the face of the planet Earth knew it. And then your wife/sister jumped on the apron and proved to the world that only a man with no cajones whatsoever would punch another man in his to end a losing streak.
(More heat.)
Must. Be. Nice.
And then... there's Andre Holmes.
Storytime, kids... Once upon a time, a very special lady approached a handsome young man and made him an offer to be part of the best stable in GZWA. The offer seemed too good to be true - because it was.
You wanna talk a big game? You wanna tell me you'll "soon hold every title in GZWA"? Well, you trolls that call yourselves "The Fallen" better step up your game before I start mopping the floor with your hair-dying, eyeliner-wearing, wrist-slitting, Simple Plan-listening candy asses!
(crowd pops)
I mean, what are you gonna do when big things start raining on you, turn into bats? "I'm so Goth, I crap Hot Topic merchandise!"
(Crowd laughs. Mike puts on his serious face.)
If you think I'm here to make friends, play nice, and other sunshine-lollipops-and-rainbows bullcrap, you are sadly mistaken. I'm here for the only reason anyone should be here - to be GZWA World Champion. And if I burn a few bridges to get there, so be it. Morris, Holmes... you don't just get my trust because you're my tag-team partners for a night. I don't know you, so I can't trust you. You numb nuts, as well as Hall and Maddoxxx, better stay out of my way... I have a match with Eddie Kingston, and you're just spectators.
AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW...
... now you know.
(drops the mic)
