Post by Tim on Feb 14, 2014 9:28:04 GMT -5
We open the scene where Hano Eiyu is in the living room of his apartment, sitting on the couch and watching some television. There were some good shows, bad ones and ones that were complete shit. Hano had cringed for the rest of the night, looking at how awful most of these shows were. He turned around to the left and saw the camera rolling at him.
"Oh, we're rolling? Sorry. Just let me..."
He found the remote and muted the TV.
"I forgot that we were having a professional promo. My apologies. Now, allow me to introduce myself to the audience. Kon'nichiwa."
He bowed and smiled.
"I am Hano Eiyu. And I'm currently wrestling for GZWA. It's a great company with terrible substance. 50% of these people are boudles, though I'm not surprised why my boss didn't fire them but fire the good influences that kept the locker room alive. I'm just reading from the forums that the internet is posting. I mean, it's the fans that are talking about our own company that's already paving through the storm."
He begins to scratch his chin, thinking that he was done with the introduction.
"For last week's Primetime, I'm gonna go recap about what was I was doing. So, I was the special referee for the episode's main event in a clusterfuck match that consisted of Team Rudo, Beauty and the Beast and Odd Couple 101. In the end, it was the luchadores that won the match after I fairly made the count. Not only that, but I finally manage to gain a new tag team partner. Someone from the Odd Couple team. Her name is Kayda Erikson and we both share a common foe. Genesis. Now, what was the beef between us? Well, I challenged him to what would be called "a match for the ages". Unfortunately, the sneaky little boudle wanted me to be part of his body count after he interfered in my match against the current Television Champion, Mike Bradley."
He began to clear his throat, expression turning stern.
"On the same night as our match, he began to mock Miss Erikson by insulting her through impersonations of her idol. Now, I used to have an idol before wrestling. I would be so pissed off if some boudle decided to make fun of him. I would give him the Burning Hammer so hard, I'll shatter his skull to pieces. I'd get a buffalo to spew diarrhea all over his damn face. But I decided to deliver a more sensible approach. Shut him up for good and beat him on the 3 count. At first, the win was for myself. But now, it was for the people that wanted me to smash his teeth all over the ring."
He sighed, keeping that same expression.
"However, the man's ego had told a different story. Listen."
He dialled up the remote and changed the channel.
"Just when you thought the most sorry excuse for a man was Vince McMahon. Oh no, this guy decides to put up a false manhood to hide his shame in getting ass whooped by me thanks to his idiocy. You didn't let me win. I captured the win for myself. The only people I should be thanking is the GZWA fans that have defended my back since my debut. You also spoke something about the truth. The truth? The truth is that your comedic farce is what makes you relevant in this company, jester. Fans, this is only the second reply to his statements about me. What was the first? Here."
He clicked the remote.
"I'm not like those jobbers you've beaten Genesis. I've got a backbone. I've defeated 29 other superstars and divas in one night and you call yourself championship material. A nice attempt at making me laugh. But it always falls flat on its back. Kayda and I are sick and tired of your shit. You speak of Pandora's Box. Talking about knocking on the devil's door, making life a living hell and your old man shit. Me? I'm talking about shutting you up for good."
His expression had changed to a look of content.
"Now that we've got the deadweight lifted off my shoulders, it's time to talk about me and Kayda's opponents at Primetime. Unlike her, I actually have beef with these two boudles. Wanna guess who they are?"
Long pause.
"Good job! How did you know?"
One of the camera crew members whispered in his ear and handed him a copy of the match card.
"Well, for those who didn't get it, here's the answer!"
"That's right! It may not be a huge match, but this booking still has hope."
He smiled for a while, but that was for a while.
"But wait. What's this?"
He pointed to the title of the episode.
"We all know that wrestling is simply business and has special episodes deserve to have special episode names. But because of this misconception, I'm gonna give my own rating for this card."
He clicked the channel to switch the screen.
"Courtesy of the Angry Video Game Nerd. But in all serious, let's back to my opponents. Yeah, I have beef with them. But how did it all start? Let's roll the footage with Rocky Romero, formerly known as El Arrendajo Ardiente."
"My business was to win the championship. But you decided to twist your own damn words into my mouth and made me interfere in your business, which is quite petty at all costs. Trying to humiliate AJ Styles? Hah! We all knew what the outcome was in the end."
"Your girlfriend screwed up real bad that time. And it's all because of you. All you had to do was allow Mei Long to concentrate more on her championship match and win it, rather than making her focus more on screwing over Styles! But your self-centered egotism had given out the big reveal! Unfortunately, that unmasked debut led to the downfalls of both you boudles and the biggest box office flop since Green Lantern. What became hype was now a disappointed. I could watch this on and on and on. But life goes on. Rocky, you've played Styles like a game with hidden betrayals and secret identities. Now, you and your girlfriend are about to walk into me and partner's. It's gonna be a surprised from mostly me. But the game over screen would be for you. And here's what it'll say."
He switched the channel once more.
"As for your girlfriend, what was she thinking?! If she wanted to retain the Women's Championship, she wouldn't have her sorry ass to be dragged by you like a leech! Then again, she's not as great as AJ Styles. To be honest, I probably was the only one who thought that he and little Mei Mei didn't fit as a couple. Why? Because Styles only does what he does best. And that's kicking ass all over the arena. But you? You of all people? I thought that she was too much of a spot monkey to match her skills with the intergender competition. But I don't really care about that. An ally of the enemy is an enemy of mine. But I guess I could tolerate her more. It's her mutt that's the problem.
"I guess I can conclude that me and Kayda are gonna wipe the floor of both your feet because it's obvious who's gonna win. I gave you two that win and broke the losing streak. I was a last minute ally, but now we're back to where we started. There's a difference between me and you two. You're both experienced and had a lot of history with AJ Styles. Me? I'm just his friendly rival and a new face. I'm so new that I'm a main eventer while you two flounder around the midcard. It just goes to show that I'm more relevant than you two. But I'm gonna go easy. In fact, the people really want me to make you cry as payback for attempting to give Styles hell. Kayda and I will see you in the ring."
"So....Kayda Erikson and Hano Eiyu....hmm....the International Connection? Nah. Too retro. Axis Powers? That's gonna have a lot of complaints. Hmm....I need to think this tag team name through. Needs to be better than that horseshit of 3MB...Whatever. Anyway, that's all I have for tonight's promo. Thanks to all my fans. I have now 400 followers in my 4 month old Twitter account. And to all the haters..."
He flips the bird at the camera.
"You heard me."
Screen fades to black as he turns back to the TV to watch his programs. Hopefully no shitty sitcoms.
"Oh, we're rolling? Sorry. Just let me..."
He found the remote and muted the TV.
"I forgot that we were having a professional promo. My apologies. Now, allow me to introduce myself to the audience. Kon'nichiwa."
He bowed and smiled.
"I am Hano Eiyu. And I'm currently wrestling for GZWA. It's a great company with terrible substance. 50% of these people are boudles, though I'm not surprised why my boss didn't fire them but fire the good influences that kept the locker room alive. I'm just reading from the forums that the internet is posting. I mean, it's the fans that are talking about our own company that's already paving through the storm."
He begins to scratch his chin, thinking that he was done with the introduction.
"For last week's Primetime, I'm gonna go recap about what was I was doing. So, I was the special referee for the episode's main event in a clusterfuck match that consisted of Team Rudo, Beauty and the Beast and Odd Couple 101. In the end, it was the luchadores that won the match after I fairly made the count. Not only that, but I finally manage to gain a new tag team partner. Someone from the Odd Couple team. Her name is Kayda Erikson and we both share a common foe. Genesis. Now, what was the beef between us? Well, I challenged him to what would be called "a match for the ages". Unfortunately, the sneaky little boudle wanted me to be part of his body count after he interfered in my match against the current Television Champion, Mike Bradley."
He began to clear his throat, expression turning stern.
"On the same night as our match, he began to mock Miss Erikson by insulting her through impersonations of her idol. Now, I used to have an idol before wrestling. I would be so pissed off if some boudle decided to make fun of him. I would give him the Burning Hammer so hard, I'll shatter his skull to pieces. I'd get a buffalo to spew diarrhea all over his damn face. But I decided to deliver a more sensible approach. Shut him up for good and beat him on the 3 count. At first, the win was for myself. But now, it was for the people that wanted me to smash his teeth all over the ring."
He sighed, keeping that same expression.
"However, the man's ego had told a different story. Listen."
He dialled up the remote and changed the channel.
Hano bragged about winning his match last night. Yet, he's so blind and stupid to the truth. He needed that win more than Genesis needed to beat him. That's a fact. Hano? You can thank me later for the false 'high' you've been given. Don't expect that to ever happen again next we meet.
"Just when you thought the most sorry excuse for a man was Vince McMahon. Oh no, this guy decides to put up a false manhood to hide his shame in getting ass whooped by me thanks to his idiocy. You didn't let me win. I captured the win for myself. The only people I should be thanking is the GZWA fans that have defended my back since my debut. You also spoke something about the truth. The truth? The truth is that your comedic farce is what makes you relevant in this company, jester. Fans, this is only the second reply to his statements about me. What was the first? Here."
He clicked the remote.
Genesis inadvertently shoves Hano Eiyu after being knocked back from the blow. Hano Eiyu doesn’t hesitate to deliver a Spinning Roundhouse Kick to the back of Genesis’ skull in response.
"I'm not like those jobbers you've beaten Genesis. I've got a backbone. I've defeated 29 other superstars and divas in one night and you call yourself championship material. A nice attempt at making me laugh. But it always falls flat on its back. Kayda and I are sick and tired of your shit. You speak of Pandora's Box. Talking about knocking on the devil's door, making life a living hell and your old man shit. Me? I'm talking about shutting you up for good."
His expression had changed to a look of content.
"Now that we've got the deadweight lifted off my shoulders, it's time to talk about me and Kayda's opponents at Primetime. Unlike her, I actually have beef with these two boudles. Wanna guess who they are?"
Long pause.
"Good job! How did you know?"
One of the camera crew members whispered in his ear and handed him a copy of the match card.
"Well, for those who didn't get it, here's the answer!"
- ***Tag Team Tournament Preliminary Round***
"The Unholy Angel" Kayda Erikson & "The People's Champion" Hano Eiyu
vs.
"The Cuban Hooligan" Rocky Romero & "The Beautiful Dragon" Mei Long
"That's right! It may not be a huge match, but this booking still has hope."
He smiled for a while, but that was for a while.
"But wait. What's this?"
He pointed to the title of the episode.
Primetime 2-14-14 (Valentine's Day Special)
"We all know that wrestling is simply business and has special episodes deserve to have special episode names. But because of this misconception, I'm gonna give my own rating for this card."
He clicked the channel to switch the screen.
"Courtesy of the Angry Video Game Nerd. But in all serious, let's back to my opponents. Yeah, I have beef with them. But how did it all start? Let's roll the footage with Rocky Romero, formerly known as El Arrendajo Ardiente."
"It's obvious what his role was. He was the irrelevant bitch who proceeded to stick his nose into someone else's business. Lucky for me, I'm feeling good today, so I won't put him out of his misery and take off his mask. I have more dignity than that. Instead, I'd much rather him just stay there and smell the dust on the ring, since that's about as worn out as he is. Have him learn his lesson to keep the hell out of people's business, and maybe even this company.
"My business was to win the championship. But you decided to twist your own damn words into my mouth and made me interfere in your business, which is quite petty at all costs. Trying to humiliate AJ Styles? Hah! We all knew what the outcome was in the end."
Justice tightened her glove and stalked Mei Long in preparation for another Hand of Justice. She grasped Mei Long around the throat and elevated her overhead before Mei Long answered with an arm drag. Mei Long immediately spun around with a Dragon’s Kiss (Windmill Kick), but Justice killed her momentum at point-blank range with a well-placed Blind Justice (Eat Defeat). Justice pins the former Women’s Champion for the win.
One…
Two…
Three!!!
"Your girlfriend screwed up real bad that time. And it's all because of you. All you had to do was allow Mei Long to concentrate more on her championship match and win it, rather than making her focus more on screwing over Styles! But your self-centered egotism had given out the big reveal! Unfortunately, that unmasked debut led to the downfalls of both you boudles and the biggest box office flop since Green Lantern. What became hype was now a disappointed. I could watch this on and on and on. But life goes on. Rocky, you've played Styles like a game with hidden betrayals and secret identities. Now, you and your girlfriend are about to walk into me and partner's. It's gonna be a surprised from mostly me. But the game over screen would be for you. And here's what it'll say."
He switched the channel once more.
"As for your girlfriend, what was she thinking?! If she wanted to retain the Women's Championship, she wouldn't have her sorry ass to be dragged by you like a leech! Then again, she's not as great as AJ Styles. To be honest, I probably was the only one who thought that he and little Mei Mei didn't fit as a couple. Why? Because Styles only does what he does best. And that's kicking ass all over the arena. But you? You of all people? I thought that she was too much of a spot monkey to match her skills with the intergender competition. But I don't really care about that. An ally of the enemy is an enemy of mine. But I guess I could tolerate her more. It's her mutt that's the problem.
"I guess I can conclude that me and Kayda are gonna wipe the floor of both your feet because it's obvious who's gonna win. I gave you two that win and broke the losing streak. I was a last minute ally, but now we're back to where we started. There's a difference between me and you two. You're both experienced and had a lot of history with AJ Styles. Me? I'm just his friendly rival and a new face. I'm so new that I'm a main eventer while you two flounder around the midcard. It just goes to show that I'm more relevant than you two. But I'm gonna go easy. In fact, the people really want me to make you cry as payback for attempting to give Styles hell. Kayda and I will see you in the ring."
"So....Kayda Erikson and Hano Eiyu....hmm....the International Connection? Nah. Too retro. Axis Powers? That's gonna have a lot of complaints. Hmm....I need to think this tag team name through. Needs to be better than that horseshit of 3MB...Whatever. Anyway, that's all I have for tonight's promo. Thanks to all my fans. I have now 400 followers in my 4 month old Twitter account. And to all the haters..."
He flips the bird at the camera.
"You heard me."
Screen fades to black as he turns back to the TV to watch his programs. Hopefully no shitty sitcoms.
