Conflicted

[Milani Chilombo]

Milani Japollonia Chilombo I was so fed up with this bullshit.... i was close to sprouting horns, a tail and even ugly ass scales to turn into a fire breathing dragon and burn this mutha DOWN! Here i was in Los Angeles, California... practically held captive by my own family. A buncha demons in the city of angels..... how ironic in a way when you think of it. I breathed deeply into my inhaler as i was trying to find my breath, finally finished with training for the day. My Aunt had been putting me through grueling in ring sessions to ready me for my debut match, saying she didnt want to hear any excuses that she wasnt ready when Santana "beat my ass", something she proudly predicts is going to happen. She was still on this whole "i went soft" shit.... which was aggravating the hell out of me. How did i go soft and when? I mean... wouldnt i know if i had drastically changed before anyone else apparently did? I exhaled finally, my breathing coming quickly as i tried to slow it down a bit as my baby sister, Jhasmine walks over to the bed and hands me a cool bottle of Dasani. Jhasmine Chilombo~Sweetheart Of A Baby Sis: "Here you go, sissy!" Milani Chilombo~The Chosen One: "Thank you, Jhassie.... but you don't have to be in here. You can go ahead and go hang out with everyone else... i mean, it ain't like you bein held captive from the looks of things..." Ok.... maybe a bit too harsh. I watched the bright smile on her angelic face begin to falter as her face fell, looking hurt as i sighed, mentally cursing myself for being so hard on her. I mean, it wasn't like she knew that our family was buttering her up to win her over to possibly turn her against me.... She turns and picks up her four year old daughter, Nayokimi to step away from me defensively as my bedroom door swings open as our best friends, Shane and Taylor Richmond enter in a cheery fashion. Shane makes a beeline for Jhas and Kimi as he hugs both of them while Taylor catches the troubled expression displayed on my face, causing him to sit down next to me immediately. Taylor Richmond~Best Friend For Life: "What's wrong? Is Phe startin up again?" Milani Chilombo~The Chosen One: "No.... she's leavin me be, for NOW. Something about her major signin away new talent today, she's in a great mood and is distracted from continuing her reign of terror on me." Taylor Richmond~Best Friend For Life: "Oh yeah.... THAT. Yeah, one of the peeps she signed was this group of girls who like, i dunno what they are. I just know that they like to twerk and kiss on each other..... aint nothin wrong with that tho." I narrow my dark brown eyes at him in a scolding glare as he swallows awkwardly, nervousness scratching the back of his head. Taylor Richmond~Best Friend For Life: "What???" Milani Chilombo~The Chosen One: "Well don't YOU just sound fresh...." Taylor Richmond~Best Friend For Life: "EASY, Skittles... I was just sayin" He notices my inhaler clutched tightly in my hand as i watch his forehead crinkle up with worry. My body is trembling, my hands are shaking as my mind wanders off to the last conversation i had with my Aunt Phoenix. It was last night... she barges into my room and demands for me to hand over my phone. Saying that for the next few days, i was to be on my p's and q's so i could stay focused for my debut match.. and saying i needed to bust my butt in the gym and give it my all in the ring during training so i could prep for my match. When i asked her who i was up against... i felt my knees buckle as i stiffened my legs to keep my balance when she said i was facing off against Santana. I had a feeling my Aunt had something to do with this... and i wanted to ask her how could she be so cruel, but i knew i would only be wasting my breath. My Aunt was more.... human when she had her amnesia. Emotional... in touch with her emotions. But that all came to an screeching halt when all of a sudden, she gets her memory back and becomes the "Firebird" again. Cold... calculating... numb, dangerous. She actually flew from Cali all the way to New York to practically kidnap my sister, my niece and I to bring us back here. She "claims" we were free to go after two weeks but i don't know, somethin' was tellin' me she probably was lyin'.... Taylor Richmond~Best Friend For Life: "MILANI!" Taylor yells at me, breaking me from my probing thoughts as i blink several times, wondering if he had been speaking this entire time and if i had unintentionally tuned him out. Jhasmine looks on from the other side of the room with worry as Shane wraps his arm around her. Shane Richmond~Jhasmine's Best Friend: "Come on, Jhassie.... let's go take Kimi to the park." And before she could protest, he was leading her and Nayokimi out of the room, shutting the door behind them to give me and Taylor some privacy. Taylor is watching me now... almost as if he's studying me as he takes too long to speak, making me wonder was he trying to pick his words which caused me to sigh yet again. I was getting sick and tired of the way i was being treated.... if my family wasn't treating me like i was a traitor then the family Taylor belonged to, the Carisi Clan, seemed to pity me... as if they tiptoed around on egg shells and treated me as if i were some fragile Chinese vase that would shatter into a million pieces if dropped. I didn't know my right leg was shaking until Taylor pressed down on my knee to stop it. Taylor Richmond~Best Friend For Life: "Millz.... you've GOT to calm down... yeah, yo Aunt is scary as shit but you actin as if you facin HER in the ring. " Milani Chilombo~The Chosen One: "If Aunt Phe is sayin' I'm off my game but that Santana is at her full potential, i have reason to worry. Aunt Phe trained me.... but her AND Val trained Santana... Santana and I have had a silent rivalry all our life... and she ALWAYS managed to come out on top." Taylor Richmond~Best Friend For Life: "So?? That was then, this is now. Have you not forgotten that EVERY match you were involved with, you always came out victorious? That you were willing to face off against any and everyone to prove your worth? That you were one of the best? That you weren't stoppin' till you reached the top? What changed, Mil? Huh? You seem so doubtful of yourself now.. " Milani Chilombo~The Chosen One: "Ion know... i think i'm thinkin' too much into things and allowin' them to get into my head-" Taylor Richmond~Best Friend For Life: "Then STOP. You've GOT to stay focus and fight back then. You walk into that match with this mentality then everything you fearin will happen... WILL happen. And Jhas don't wanna see that, nor Shane, nor Tiph.... nor me.... " I smile wanly at him, trying to cranking up the inner positivity but it was like the switch was stuck... i still felt like shit but i wasnt gonna let Taylor know that. So i playfully nudge him, trying to make him think i was feelin' much better than i really was feelin'. Milani Chilombo~The Chosen One: "See... I appreciate you havin' my back and also seein' that this hatred they have for the Familia is fuckin' nonsense." Taylor Richmond~Best Friend For Life: "Um... i didn't say all of that now. " He says, his bright smile folding down into a frown as he rose an eyebrow at me, almost as if he was irritated about something. Taylor Richmond~Best Friend For Life: "I CAN see their view and side of things concerning their issues with the other side. I mean.... they said Zim never tried to fit in back when they had that public fight against him months back and Zim said he felt because he didn't kiss ass he wasn't trying to fit in. And then when they stepped in Ali and Arturo's issue that had nothing to do with them.... And DON'T even get me started on us innocently walking around at the Fair and that apparently caused issues. I wasnt grabbin yo ass or holdin yo hand but i will never forget them sayin you needed to ditch me and not walk around with me before your dude got there and got upset. Because apparently I was in love with you, Ali was in love with Nikki, they can tell us who we in love with but couldn't tell when they chicks was playin they nosy asses right in front of they faces. " Milani Chilombo~The Chosen One: "Tay...." Taylor Richmond~Best Friend For Life: "And LET'S not forget when we first got on twitter, and Shane tweeted you about you blackmailin us with the Vegas story to make us get a twitter and he said to not forget we had stories about you too and THEN your dude found his way into interferrin' into that convo to check Shane. So don't think it's just Zim who took a pleasure in seeing the Familia's downfall... trust me, we all did. I had been bitin my tongue since the Fair to try to keep the peace.. I know it's not what you wanna hear but i'm sick of it seemin like the Famiglia are the only ones who are bullies... yo "familia" fuckin bullied us too in a way. And then wondered why Ali felt like an outsider for the longest... when he got snapped at over Nikki at that meeting? That's where they fucked up. I promise you, if they hadn't made Ali mad to the point he disowned them after that meeting? Things wouldnt be this bad right now, because Ali would had fought for that side like he had always did, but like i said.... it's ok when they step out on spouses, nobody seems to not snap about that but when an outsider in the fam has a best friend? You get ALL the bullshit. So if you're askin' me if i'm happy that this great divide happened then know that my answer is, HELL yes. " I stare at him in surprise as he exhales with relief, like he had been holding that in for the longest. Milani Chilombo~The Chosen One: "Feel better?" Taylor Richmond~Best Friend For Life: "VERY. Like i said, i had been bitin my tongue for so long... I used to be scared of all them niggas over there but after Phe did what she did publicly with challenging them? I realized her ass the only one i need to be afraid of. I know this isn't what you want to hear but you need to open your eyes. You and Jhas may have gotten treated like royalty... but WE didn't. They thought cause we signed to Empire that it stopped there. Everytime anyone of us got into it with them, it was, "I signed you to my company and this is how you repay me?" They can blame Tana was there but there was issues WAY before even Nikki and Nate got there. Lets not forget Ali havin issues with Melodie every... single.... week.... over her trippin about nothin. Now you know good and well Ali the kinda nigga who aint equipped to deal with that shit. And let's not forget when Josh flat out punched Cai in his chest for even contemplating on giving Daniela a chance. Josh said he would kill his ass if he even decided to get roped into that hot mess. And you bet ya ass he thankin the heavens he didnt when that stuff wit Hakeem trippin out happened. I don't have issues with the women in the fam, hell i'm still cool with Serena. It's the niggas i have the beef wit. " Milani Chilombo~The Chosen One: "I really wish people would stop thinkin they are so bad.... they are human and flawed, just like everyone else. They arent perfect. They are going to make mistakes like we all make them. They shouldnt be held accountable for the past mistakes they make, my mother included. I am tired of her being crucified for her mistakes. Even she knows now that her choices were poor decisions... but she was going through something during that time. She couldnt help-" Taylor Richmond~Best Friend For Life: "She couldnt help what, Mil? You know, when you keep making the same mistakes over and over again? They are called choices. And quite honestly, after these two weeks are up, i DONT think you should go back... you nor Jhas. Yall need to be far away from that craziness they got goin on over there. Hell, from what i heard, they all went their separate ways. But us? You have two families here who co exist and get along. Something stable... something permanent... something you and Jhas need to be apart of. If i have to fight for that, i will. " Milani Chilombo~The Chosen One: "Come on, Tay.... we can't stay here. You know that and you know why." Not liking the sound of that, he stands to his feet and heads for the door with a heavy sigh, stopping to look behind his shoulder when he opens the door. Taylor Richmond~Best Friend For Life: "I don't condone what Phe is doin' one bit but if it by chance DOES get you to change your stance on things? I welcome it all. " And on that note, he shuts the door behind him and leaves me to access my million thoughts in silence.

Tag: Closed | Words: 2416 | Notes: Enjoy

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