Post by Deleted on Feb 19, 2017 12:33:53 GMT -5
Scene: ON Camera
Location: Deep in the back roads of Bent Curve, Mississippi.
“The Rockin’ Redhead” Christy Hemme (lead interviewer for GZWA), joined by the GZWA camera crew, brought her car to a stop once the paved road turned into nothing but dirt. The GPS address to Missy Sippy’s home had not went all the way through, so it pinpointed the last known area, or nearest area to that address.
Conversing with the men in the car with her, who’ve been with her from the start in GZWA, they decided to call Missy and have her come meet them, but the attempt failed as it was in a dead zone. More discussion came and went, with them finally deciding to slowly drive ahead.
Going no more than 10 miles per hour, Hemme creeped the car along, getting a little more nervous with each passing moment, as were her colleagues. They’d all seen the movie “Wrong Turn” and just knew they were one flat tire away from being the real life version of that.
Up ahead a big jacked up truck covered in mud flew down the road at them, sending her car off the road a little bit, where she got stuck. Cursing up a storm, she got out and kicked the car and threw a middle finger at the wafting dirt left in the wake of the truck.
Another truck came down the road a short while later, this one bigger and meaner looking than the last one. He was a diesel truck. Hemme waved them down and to her surprise the driver brought it to a stop. The man, who looked like a lumberjack, poked his head out of the door and looked down at her boobs barely contained in her shirt, and smiled.
Man: Mmmm, hello misses. Did you just come KFC or somethin’?
Hemme: Uhh..
Man: Because you’ve got breasts and thighs and you’re giving me a drumstick…YYYYYEEEEEEEE HAWWWWW WOOT WOOT YEEEAH!
The man honked the loud horn which sent Hemme jumping into the air in surprise, and he was hollering and was joined in said hollering by several other men in the truck, all of whom pressed their faces against any glass window portion they could to get a peek at her. He gave her the biggest, creepiest smile; he had so many cavities in his teeth that it looked like he had a mouth full of dice. She had to turn away, fighting the urge to give up her lunch right there on the road. It was then that the man saw the GZWA logo across the camera equipment and perked up.
Man: Say, misses, you tryin’ find Missy Sippy?
Finally some good news! Christy squealed yes and told him of their troubles, including their stuck vehicle. In no time at all the man and his buddies pulled her out of the ditch and refused payment when she tried to give it to them, claiming any friend of Missy’s is a friend of theirs. The man, who called himself “Rig”, had them to follow him to where Missy was holed up at. The drive was bumpy and super dirty and took awhile but alas, they pulled into an open space in the woods that was… well….. Just look…. 
Rig and his crew gave a gesture to the area and said Missy would be around in a bit, then peeled out and went about his day, leaving GZWA’s lead interviewer baffled and a little scared. All around them were kids in diapers, kids naked, all of them dirty but unusually excited, as if they don’t get many “outsiders” around the area.
They swarmed her, pulling at her legs with wide eyed wonder, and the men in the GZWA camera crew were treated the same. Teens and adults, dressed in rags and dirty too, drunk and high, ambled into view equally excited. The bizarre scene was suddenly interrupted by the booming voice of Missy Sippy herself.
Missy: LEAVE EM ALONE! GET OUTTA HERE! SKIT!
They all flee and stand at a distance, watching as Missy strolled up to Hemme and the crew. Missy was dressed head to toe in woodland themed camouflage, and had dead squirrels and other rodents strung up in ropes attached to her sides. Across her shoulders was a dead wild boar, which she pressed overhead and slammed down on the ground. Strapped across her back was a crossbow and a rifle. As soon as she plopped the boar down on the ground, she whistled and motioned to it. Many of the kids came running up, grabbing it and carrying it away like tiny ants carting away food. They stopped in the middle of the “yard” and started skinning it, which made Hemme visibly woozy.
Missy: Better check ya pockets, guys.
The camera crew did just that and realized they’d been robbed. Missy chuckled and ordered a certain few kids to come to her. They did and she smacked the shit out of them and kicked them all into the dirt, before demanding they give the crew’s wallets back to them. Scared, they all did as commanded, and the crew made sure all their monies and cards were accounted for before Missy allowed the kids to leave. Wanting out of there quick, the camera crew and Hemme decided to just keep shooting and do any editing later on. Usually they’d spend time setting things up and doing rehearsals etc… but not this time… hell no.
Whipping out her microphone, Christy stood next to Missy and curled up her nose as Missy smelled like…. Something… she couldn’t tell what though. Smiling, Missy threw an arm around the “Rockin’ Redhead’s” shoulder as though they were old friends.
Hemme: Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m Christy Hemme on assignment here in Bent Curve, Mississippi, and joining me at this time is the resident wrestling superstar and GZWA sensation, Missy Sippy. Missy, recently you’ve been tearing it up on Primetime with wins against the likes of Zora Grayson, Didgitz, and Maryse. But I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t bring up newcomer, Susie Price in this discussion, whom you’ve had problems with. Your thoughts?
Missy’s face wrinkled into anger at the mention of Susie’s name. Leaning into the mic, Missy started going off. ]
Missy: Lemme tell you somethin’ real quick and in a hurry, that little squirt of vanilla shit done went and crossed a line that’s uncrossable. I was nice to the girl was I not? She bumped into me and I didn’t see her tiny little midget ass, tats all. All it was. I moved aside to let her through after I realized she wasn’t a lost little kid nor one of santa’s lost little helpers but naaaawwwwww, she gotta go and jump me from behind like some little yelly bellied beeyach. I was pissed but then I said to self.. “Self, what would Jesus Christ do?” and I figured he’d let shit slide so I was gonna do that, but naaaaaaaaaaw she went and stuck her huge ass booger shooting nose in my battle royal bidness after I won it. And then.. You saw it.. They all did.. That beeyach attacked me. She humiliated me with my own cowbell and knocked me out cold with whatever the fuck kick that was. Ain’t none of that shit ever happened to me and that bullshit flies about as well as a cement balloon for me, so needless to say IT IS ON with me and her.
Hemme puffed out her cheek, doing her best to remain professional among the armpit stench given off by Missy Sippy and dead critters.
Hemme: Strong words from you Missy Sippy. It certainly seems like Susie is a bit un-Christ-like and is less forgiving of you spitting that nasty stuff in her hair. She has reported that it cost a huge amount of money to get fixed.
Missy popped her head back and laughed, then stuck a cigarette in her mouth and sparked it up.
Missy: She needed to put that money on a nose job instead of hair maintenance. Have you seen that honker on her face? Good fuckin’ God, it reaches the ring before she even steps through the fuckin’ curtain. You could put a small town on it, complete with city hall and a post office. And she’s worried about hair? Tha fuck? Look, again, I know my actions might have looked bad but I was truly tryin’ to be nice to her. I saw that her hair was too bleachy and blonde, and flayed, so I figured I’d spruce it up a bit, tats all, all it was. I figured it’d look better with some brown speckled streaks in it. Yanno, I’m gettin’ tired of rich bitch city folks getting mad at me for tryin’ to be nice.
Missy was getting so amped up that she couldn’t even finish the cigarette. She passed it off to a little kid who took it happily and smoked on it as he walked away. Hemme carried on undeterred.
Hemme: Well be that as it may, you’ll be happy to know she’s one of your opponents in this week’s 3 on 3 tag team match. It’s you, Didgitz, and Zora Grayson against Nikki Bella, Alicia Fox, and Susie Price.
Missy scoffed at the notion and spat on the ground.
Missy: Hog wash! It ain’t no tag team match, it’s a 5 on 1 handicap match. Let’s be real here, I done beat the brakes plume off Zora twice and Didgitz once, so they gonna be jealous as shit. They gonna try to backstab me first chance they get but I ain’t fall off the truck yesterday, I know the deal and I’m gonna have my head on a damn swivel. My partners suck. I don’t trust them to help me win so I might as well just have my own corner to myself in there because I’m gonna be punching them in the face just as much as I will the other team. Oh and that damn thick-midget tinker toy Susie Price is too chicken shit to scrap with me face to face, always from behind, so Imma make sure to force someone to tag her in, and when they do I’m going to skin her alive quicker than those kids over there doin’ that wild boar. I’m going to hang her peeled skin on those steel trees that hold the ring together.
Hemme shot a vexed brow.
Hemme: Wait, are you saying you’re going it alone in this match?
Missy gave a big head nod yes.
Missy: Dayum right! Might as well, hell. Look at my partners. Zora is running around dreaming of me apparently, since that’s the only way she can beat me. I beat her without breaking a sweat she didn’t even come close to upping me in that battle royal. Didgitz is too focused on her kid, who should have been aborted, to put together any sort of wrestling career despite having some halfway decent tools in the ring. So now her kid prolly hates her because she is a loser, and I‘ll have to deal with Didgitz boo-hooing about her little stain of shit kid on the apron while I’m tryin’ to conduct ass kicking operations. Even if Zora and Didgtiz weren’t jealous of my dominance over them, I obviously still couldn’t trust them to hold their own with me. Which sucks, because it’d be an easy win for us… just look at our opponents. Dysfunctional as fuck. Nikki blames Fox for the losses even though Nikki has the same wrestling ability as a half dead hummingbird, and then Fox is too stupid to just leave that little partnership, so she gets stuck being the shit receptacle and is brainwashed to believe she truly is the weak link, when in fact they both equally fuckin’ suck and always look like two monkeys trying to fuck a doorknob in the ring. And then there’s Susie, whose only talent resides in how much plastic can be put into the human body, and probably can’t whip her way out of a wet paper bag even if it had holes in the sides. I swear I could launch her tiny little carcass into the third row if I wanted to and bah gawd I’m gonna try to do just that come Primetime.
Hemme held a finger up, having thought of something.
Hemme: Speaking of Alicia Fox, there was a fan video on YouTube that went viral this week. In it, it showed a non televised match between the two of you meant just for the fans in attendance to enjoy, and in it she was able to defe-
Missy glared at Hemme and cut her off quick.
Missy: Let me put a tie yip to that bullshit right now. Fox ain’t never whipped this ass. The brass didn’t let me know I had a match and I went out there piss drunk, beat Fox all over the fucking ring still, then was gonna finish her off but that damn bitch Susie Price came out and distracted me. Next thing I know I’m on my back and Fox is jumping around as if she won the fuckin’ lottery. That loss doesn’t count a damn bit against me as far as I’m concerned. But you know what, when it comes to them… all of them… I don’t think mere words will work. Allow me to demonstrate what’s going to happen to them. Follow me.
Missy led them to a large farm area off the road to the left. Missy hopped into the chicken pen and began chasing some chickens around. After grabbing one, she held it while it hectically tried to get free.
Missy: All them beeches in that 5 on 1 handicap match disguised as a tag match are chicken heads. Every damn one. Them dayum chicken heads been let out the coup, and this is what I do to chicken heads...
Missy placed both hands around the chicken’s neck and twirled it menacingly over her head several times, twisting it as she went, until alas the body separated from the head and fell to the ground. Despite being headless, the body flopped around and even ran a little bit before falling over.
Alarmed and sickened over this, as was her crew, Hemme quickly yelled “CUT!” and the feed went black. Without saying a word more, Hemme and the crew RAN back over to their vehicle, got in, and sped away kicking up all kinds of dust in their wake.
Moving into the road waving the dust from her face while having the severed chicken head in hand, Missy looked dumbstruck.
Missy: Damn… was it something I said???
~End~