Post by The Bradley Clan on Jan 14, 2018 18:20:00 GMT -5
Mike and Jesse Bradley are at home in Camden, Maine, playing Overwatch online along with Danielle, Kris Williams, who are at home in Burlington, Mass., and two other friends. Mike gets a huge multi-kill with D.Va’s self-destruct.
“AAAAHHHHH!!! GET FUCKED, NERDS!”
“Good thing we’re on a private channel, otherwise that’s a pretty clear TOS violation.”
“Come on, shortstop, let me show a little emotion.”
“Well, it’s certainly better than the drivel we hear from these 13-year-olds who suck at every sport and call their opponents racial epithets and talk about how they fucked their mom.”
“Do you talk like this when Andrew is around?” One of their friends asks.
“No, but he’s seen me on TV, we’ve taught him not to repeat anything Daddy says until he’s older.”
“Uh… that’s good, I guess.”
Mike gets play of the game for his multi-kill. He smirks at Jesse, who gives him a condescending smile, then a kiss.
“So you guys have the semifinals of the Stardom tournament this week, huh? Who are you up against?”
“Uh, some chick named Bobbi Jackson, who calls herself ‘The Bobbilicious One,’ whatever the hell that means, and Dominique Frost, who calls herself ‘The Dominiqtrix,’ and I don’t know if I’m pronouncing that correctly, but honestly I don’t care, and Eliza Frost… so another Freebirds team.”
“Oooh, so it’s Ladies Night! And the feeling’s right…” their friend sings.
“Yeah, yeah. Shouldn’t we be past that phase of women’s wrestling? Who uses nicknames like that anymore? It gives an impression that you don’t take wrestling seriously.”
“Well you could send Mike and Kris and have the size advantage and win that one easily.”
“We could… or…”
Mike looks at Jesse, then winks.
“Or we could send Danielle and Jesse and show them what real women wrestlers look like.”
“Yeah, Mike’s got a couple of matches under his belt, Kris has made his debut, now - as you said, Brad - it’s ladies night, and the something something…”
“I’ve often said that I loathe the terms ‘Diva,’ ‘Knockout,’ ‘Vixen,’ whatever sexist label you want to put on women’s wrestlers. I’ve handled men twice my size and larger. I own a pinfall victory over one Randall Keith Orton after not wrestling for two and a half years. Ring rust has never been an issue for me, or anyone in our family! These ladies are nothing compared to him!”
“Sis, I know exactly what you're talking about. Growing up as a gymnast, especially in high school and college, I couldn’t tell you how many creepy looks I got from guys looking at me in a one-piece and makeup and doing the prancy poses. I didn't sign up for that. I signed up to be the best at what I do. And trust me, if they tried to pull a fast one on me, I'd tear their fucking arm from their socket, because I'm the Firebrand and I will light your ass up!”
“We've both got an itch to scratch, sis. I've got Reina de Reinas coming up, and I can’t wait to get in the ring and show the world just what The Guru has in store for these Barbie Doll amateurs.”
“And while Mike doesn't have the TV title, let’s not forget that he was never pinned. And we’re still standing and marching toward our goal of cleansing GZWA and making Z’s life a living hell!”
“The Bradley boys took it down last week. Kris’s debut showed he's no rookie to pass over. Why should the Bradley women be any different?”
“Bobbi, Dominique, Eliza, you’ve put yourself in front of a runaway train that can't be stopped. Get ready to be derailed by the D-Train and engulfed by the flames of the Firebrand!”
And if you don’t know… now you know!
“Did you guys just cut a promo during the middle of an Overwatch match?”
“Fuck yeah we did! Now stay with the payload, Will!”
