Post by The Bradley Clan on Nov 7, 2018 3:20:30 GMT -5
Mike Bradley is stuck in heavy traffic while running errands for his family. The high volume of weekend tourists to the Midcoast Maine area has traffic grinding to a standstill. As the traffic turtles along, he starts to get itchy. Somehow, it makes him think of his GZWA schedule as of late.
“They're just delaying the inevitable… another show, and another show after that, and another show after that… Dead or Alive can't get here soon enough.”
The traffic begins to move, and Mike uses this opportunity to floor the gas pedal. Unfortunately, it stops just as quickly, and he's forced to slam on the brakes.
“FUCK!”
Barely avoiding an accident, he closes his eyes, takes a few deep breaths and continues on with the sluggish pace.
“Patience has never been a strong suit of mine. My wife Jesse knows this firsthand. I fell madly in love with her from our first date. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her from day one. But she had gotten hurt in a similar situation before she met me. So as difficult as it was, I learned to pump the brakes with her… and she learned to be patient with some of my own quirks. That's how we blossomed into the inseparable couple you know today.”
The stop and start traffic continues. Stop… start… stop… start…
“And the GZWA fans know I'm impatient. I rushed my PT so much after nearly dying in the ring three years ago to get back at Nikki Bella and Tyler Breeze, that I almost did myself in again. That's when my doctors and my family told me to take a few steps back and enjoy my life. And we did. And now we're back and better than ever…”
Stop...
“Or are we?”
Start...
“They say The Bradley Clan are overrated, overhyped and underperforming. We haven't lived up to our words to cleanse GZWA. We haven't claimed any championships since coming back.”
Stop… Start...
“Yeah, that's probably all true. And that means there's only one thing to do.”
Suddenly, the logjam is broken. Mike steps on the gas and barrels up Route 1.
“Step off the brakes, pump the gas, fuck patience and run down every unfortunate soul who stands in our way!”
He weaves through the two lanes past every car in his way, with multiple cars honking at him as he passes them.
“Because nothing has changed in GZWA - The Bradley Clan has to deal with new pests every week like a game of Whack-a-Mole. And last week, Knightmare Inc, with whom we've had no quarrel up to this point, drove the Tag Team Division welcome wagon down to the ring, ran my ass over and cost me my third GZWA Television Title!”
He takes an aggressive turn at a stoplight and continues his breakneck pace as he crosses the Camden town line.
“Perhaps you scrubs haven't heard, but fucking with The Bradley Clan is a death sentence when you look at the history of GZWA! There's a lengthy list of dimwits who've tried to take us out, but met their demise in this company while we're still standing! Watch your step, kids, or your tag titles will wind up on The Bradley Clan’s shoulders… and your asses will wind up in the unemployment line!”
Facing the steep hill leading up to his street, he guns it one last time.
“Just be glad you're only getting a small sample of what's in store for you when we come knocking for those belts. Because as far as that fucking fossil that I'm paired with, Doombringer, is concerned, I hope you brought some extra WD-40 for your creaky ass joints, because that's the only way you'll be of any use to me on Primetime… and the only way you’ll have any hope of stopping me at Dead or Alive!”
He finally gets home, parks his car in the garage and exhales deeply.
“So we're teammates for one night. And after that, come Dead or Alive, you and all those other unfortunate souls in the Elimination Chamber will get put through the Bradley Beatdown Blender that you've experienced all too often, so … prepare - for - chaos!”
And if you don't know… now you know!
He slams the door of his car and bounds into the house as the scene fades to black.
