Post by senorvinnie on Dec 16, 2018 19:17:51 GMT -5
Voice: Hello,
this is the class of three lessons in how to educate successful people in understanding the lives of failures and not to ridicule them every single opportunity you get. Now you may ask yourself why?? Why would someone so successful like a Senor Vinnie waste his time on three lessons like this, where the answer is actually very simple and when you think of it you would do too. Of course there are three answers, to show the world that Senor Vinnie is a humanitarian, to give himself a pat on the back of doing a well done job. And, of course the most important reason… he has gotten a load full of dinero…, that is Spanish for money to sit through these three, mostly boring lessons. Well you have to suck up to get some notice don’t you?
A yawn can be heard through a hallway as the camera shoots into a small gym where we see a group of chairs in a circle where people are all facing each other. One person is doing the talking as he is mostly a groups therapist of some sorts and another figure that is just staring at his cell phone to see how late it is, even though we are merely a few minutes into the session and Senor Vinnie is already bored.
Therapist: Welcome guys and gals, welcome to the second of hopefully a weekly returning…..
The therapist is being interrupted by Senor Vinnie, who pats him on the back and shakes his head about something. The therapist nods his head and whispers something in return as he turns his focus back on the others in the group circle.
Therapist: As I was saying, welcome guys and gals as well as our special featured guest, the man of steel, the man that put the U into the Blues and the man that will ask all of you to fill in to pay him to stay here. Apparently the finances of our funds has dried up and he still is owed 10.000 dollars by the end of the week. So if you are willing to be generous in the spirit of the holiday season?? I suggest that time is right now. Okay, now that has been said, I am thrilled to say that since last week our group has now doubled ten times in comparison of last week. I want to thank you for the huge outcome and putting the name out there that we exist. I…..
The therapist turns his attention to Senor Vinnie, who interrupted him again as he was tapping him on the shoulder and whispers something into his ear.
Therapist: And of course the huge outcome of this therapy session is solely because of the presence of Senor Vinnie. Whose presence only lights our hearts in the dark days of depression that is Blue Monday, what will be upon us very shortly..
The therapist turns his attention back to Senor Vinnie, who has handed him a piece of paper with something written on it for him to read ot loud. The therapist reads it quickly before clearing up his throat and ponders whether he should, but then realizes that Senor Vinnie is owed a lot of money from him and his organization.
Therapist: Senor Vinnie wishes to give you all here a huge amount of discount as well to all of the viewers who will watch this all on television, youtube, those who are being granted snaps on snap chat as well as face book live, Twitter live and other social media outlets. All you have to do is going to www.SenorVinniecuresdepression.co.mex.com/senorita.
The therapist looks at the rest of the writing that is on the piece of paper and scratches his head before asking Senor Vinnie whether he should utter the rest of what has been written, only to be answered by a firm Senor Vinnie yes nod with his head. Causing the therapist to sigh and utter a very soft alright in the process.
Therapist: Si, what more could you ask in the most depressing day of your life. Being at home, realizing that all of your and let me rephrase that…. ALL OF YOUR GOOD INTENTIONS to start off the new year by quitting smoking, losing weight, finally finding that girl and stop being so lonely late at night when you are masturbating in bed…… errr
The therapist re reads the words that he just uttered in disbelief before staring at Senor Vinnie, who waves at him by merely saying that he needs to continue reading the note
Therapist: As well as quitting drugs, visiting your grandmother even if she lives on the other side of the city because she misses you, even the most simple task at hand that you know you should but probably ultimately fail at. Blue Monday, the most terrifying day in the history of the at that moment still short year of the many days that will still be ahead of you. THAT VERY DAY is the day that www.senorvinnie.com is going to offer his senorita’s in an effort to motivate you in advancing your efforts of fulfilling your good intentions into a successful ones. Will it be cheap?? No, but getting all these ladies over the border these days don’t come cheap. But if you wish to become anywhere near as successful as me, Senor Vinnie of course.
The therapist stares once again at Senor Vinnie and poins at him, causing the wrestler to smile as the therapist sighs. Sighing over the fact that the note expressively told him to point towards the wrestler after saying his name.
Therapist: The Senorita’s do come in different price categories, the higher the price the better your chances are to succeed and of course how pretty the senorita will become. And before you are going to claim that I am exploiting women?? Well, the Mexican women are just that… the most beautiful women on this planet…. So it’s only fitting that you show some more appreciation to their beauty and their intellect.
Suddenly a woman lifts her arm up in the air, she is in her twenties and rather attractive as she has caught Senor Vinnie’s eye from the moment she walked in.
Woman: Are there any offers for women that like men???
She giggles as she sees Senor Vinnie quickly grinning as he puts down his cell phone for the first time and stretches out to look fashionably better looking than he already did. He combs his hair with his hands and then takes a breath mint before answering the question from the young lady.
Senor Vinnie: Of course there is senorita, I personally will come to your door and help you through every single step until you reach your goal.
The woman giggles as another woman, this one is rather old and fat lifts her arm up as well.
Fat woman: You are hired!!!
Senor Vinnie rolls his eyes as he shakes his head no, he stares at the old woman with a obvious non pleasant look on his face.
Senor Vinnie: I do not help women over 200 senora
Fat woman: I’m merely 55
Senor Vinnie: I meant over 200 pounds senora, please do not harass me and don’t think I will help you if you send fake pictures. We monitor everyone in the US and beyond who wants to be helped by my rather succesfl and yet expensive treatment.
The fat old woman sinks into her chair rather disappointed in the process of being denied by the Mariachi singer/wrestler of SCW.
Fat Woman: I hope you get beaten in that Elimination Chamber you selfish prick.
Senor Vinnie once again rolls his eyes before turning to the therapist.
Therapist: Well this is the end of the session, I hope to see you all next week
Senor Vinnie: Don’t count on me jackass.
The shot fades as we see Senor Vinnie walk off.
Senor Vinnie: So here we are, just moments away from me beating five other superstars, well superstars?? Pretenders to my thrones more or less, I mean seriously. If I have to give handouts to the entire GZWA roster to obtain another championship shot, or just being in the ring with yours truly, then I would just run out of money. But I guess I am a humanitarian and I just love proving people wrong, like I have been doing the entire year… and what a year it has been has it not?
You can hear crickets on the background as Senor Vinnie is sitting on a stool on an empty stage, the only thing that is on the stage with him is the stool that he sits on and two microphones. One for the guitar and the other for himself so that he can speak through it.
Senor Vinnie: Test, test. Is this on?? Can anyone hear me???
Again crickets, but this time Senor Vinnie is smiling. Knowing that the entire place is empty because he is doing merely a tryout before the big show later today.
Senor Vinnie: Now I have been asked quite often as of late by many people of how I am handling such a glorious run as well how I deal with the every days disappointment of my opponents and give them a big boost to be focused for another ass kicking. And I have often told the world that I have intelligent fans, realizing that I am the first ever multi-tasking Senor that they have ever seen!! And when they ask me this, I tell them all the same story over and over again.
Which I will share with you as well, so sit tight and enjoy the show… because it may get bumpy.
He signals for someone behind the stage to do something as the lights go black, we hear a guitar riff of a famous rock ballad… the song that bears the same title as the final PPV of this year… Wanted Dead or Alive from Bon Jovi. We can see a spotlight shine upon Senor Vinnie as a screen emerges, the music slowly goes soft as he walks over to the screen and five faces emerge, the five faces of the men that Senor Vinnie will be facing at the Elimination Chamber for his TV and World title.
Senor Vinnie: As you can see I have put wanted signs at each and every men’s picture and it is for you to guess and me to know what I would receive if I would have brought them in for the bounty on their asses… whether it’s worth it to kill them or not… you know the usual thing a bounty hunter those days were getting paid for criminals like Billy the Kid and…. Well whatever.
And it is quite extraordinary bunch of…. Well…. What should I call these guys anyways???
He looks at their pictures and shrugs, he takes a deep breath and sighs out before continuing.
Senor Vinnie: I could say that they are a waste of my freaking time, but that would make you automatically sign off before the main event match even begins. Ergo, that’s a difficult word that you pubic picking pussies don’t understand so why bother explaining huh?? But that would mean that you would miss out a chapter of my impressive career. A career that has been me proving people wrong of the greatness of the Mariachi of wrestling
It’s funny that the last world champ at first did not saw any potential in me, but she quickly turned around big time and well….. I know you fuckers have seen how close me and the Cortez senora’s have become right?? And all of you thought you were the ones that was deservingly to be champ, why?? Good question and for each and every other super star I will try to find an answer… shall we begin??? Si?? Bueno.
He points at Mike Bradley and shakes his head before ripping the picture off the board.
Senor Vinnie: Seriously?? I have no clue besides the fact that this guy is a bum on second hand sneakers, who has a clan that aren’t Scottish. Who has got more pubes beneath his beard than you could count stars on a bright summer night. Who is falling further down the stairs of being believable and he calls me insane??? Right… but that doesn’t do our history any justice right?? No, I am going to dig deep into my memory case and find the answer that at this moment Mike is still searching or. But obviously when I give the answer there will remain more questions circling around his head than Elizabeth Taylor had ex husbands. But that’s besides the point.
He looks at the ripped pieces of the picture that he tore apparat and chuckles
Senor Vinnie: It was the firs show after my record breaking and historical victory over… well the entire roster basically. Out surviving everyone without breaking a sweat and raising my hand in victory and becoming the current world champ. Remember that Mike?? Of course you do, you have been bitching about it ever since!! Culminating into the moment that you just had to stuck your nose into my business during my championship title victory party with only two guests… the Cortez senora’s… someone that I am pretty sure that you are not… but oh well… let’s move on shall we???
Senor Vinnie Yawns as he is clearly bored in repeating that tale
Senor Vinnie: In the end you just came out, insulted the whole essence that I stand for, you did not even wipe your shoes on the carpet and well just farted your way up towards…. Well?? What was it?? you wanted a title shot… but I guess that did not go the way you wanted it to go did it??? Because you are still stupid, you are still sad and smell like a stinking bum. But who am I to judge someone else’s sad lie…., I got Oprah to do that on a regular basis as the stupid……… read a book about something… pfew I almost forgot to remember that this is a family show. But anyway…. You ultimately had to be demoted to fight for the tv title, tag titles and constantly failed…. Somehow qualified for this Elimination champion in God knows how?? And now I have to lower my standards by hopefully removing your ass from any world title or tv title contention for the next two millennia. I’m sure that you are terrible in counting, but let me assure you.. that will be a while before you ever achieve to anything again okay???
But I shouldn’t be all too harsh upon your ability…. Or lack off I should say, because I have yet to see any wrestling holds that you have mastered over how long you have been here??? The man that gloated that he was a former tv champion, a man that used his apparent past with Amanda… I mean seriously?? Did you get turned down or something??? Or did you ask for her to moon you and she just send you a picture of every moon around URANUS??? Quit sad how one should use the past to hope in ever getting any bearings of being relevant. While others like yours truly, those who just go out there and earn the damn respect that I have garnered throughout the one year plus period that I have been here. And boy, what a ride it has been huh??? But I do not have to tell you right?? You were just another stepping stone for me to kick down and shove your face in the mud. But I guess you need a loser like you like a porn star needs a fluffer to stay…. Well let’s just say the word relevant covers that package right???
He chuckles as he moves towards the next picture.
Senor Vinnie: I could go on about Mike, but that would only raise his stock that he doesn’t have. And ultimately everything that matters is about me right??? Right!!! You see, I have a former world champion to discuss, the former tv champion and two guys who I am still to this guy am wondering why they are in this match in the first place!! But I guess not having to defend your tag team titles promotes you to bigger things… things that are way over their heads like them trying to find enough dollar bills to make a cool one million. But at least they are champions, something that the rest have clearly no longer have a clue on how that must have felt. Right Eggie?
Now I know that your name is Equinox and I am sure that you probably had expected me to put your name on top of the list and to be named as the final name. The man that valiantly defended the Television championship…. Wanted to make it meaningful again…., wanted to have people challenge him from left to right and beat them…. Hoping for that one moment that he could step up another step and become world champion. A story that I am sure would make a cool fifty cents in the box office, who knows it may sell the double on DVD and Blu-Ray. The classical tale of overcoming all the odds, not listening to the advice of those who know better an try to fight the establishment. And boy you did didn’t you???
NAH AHHHHH
He bursts out in laughter as he made fun of the whole Equino reference.
Senor Vinnie: I’m sorry Eggie, but I’m not much of a Netflix tale of a bad tale going good. That’s not reality man, you were living in the moment of constantly telling yourself that you were hoping you could, that you would and why in the hell you should to begin with? You are clearly fixated on that adrenaline rush that I am sadly have to inform you senor… you are an addict, you are wasting everyone’s time on making us believe that tale that is what makes you who you truly are… the almighty Equinox!! Just weird that after I made you tap that you get another chance in winning both titles that I have in possession??? Isn’t that technically a yes brainer for those who are stupid?
El stupido, that’s how the kids would call it back in Tijuana, Mexico while running around with sticks, balls and whatever they come up with these days to keep them occupied for another five seconds. That equals your entire ability to focus on whatever it is that is necessary. I mean seriously, I beat you when your belt wasn’t on the line, I should have won that belt after I pinned Doombringer and then I made you submit. I outlasted you three times amigo, why isn’t there a three strike your out rule in this organization??? Or are these five other insignificants the best that this organization can bring to the dance??? All because they were lucky enough that Amanda Cortez retired.. because if there was ANYONE That deserved a shot… it was that fine piece of mamasita instead of you face painted freak. But I guess opinions do differ between those who claim to be a brilliant mind and the one that actually has the ability to use its very own. But that’s for those who actually paid attention to the ground breaking theory of relativity that is hand written by yours truly
Gotcha, you actually thought I would utter out the real one right?? Fuck no man!! I farted louder and more interesting when I was still in diapers to ever have people people wonder what that fuck of an Einstein ever had on me… it sure as hell isn’t the World and TV title that’s for sure!! But to everyone their supposedly spoils I suppose…. But back to you Eggie…. Are you alright?? Already planning on moving on?? I’m asking that because Fenris still wonders when you are going to collect your balls in SCW, when you have the balls to state that 2020 will be the year of your comeback and win it all in this organization.. or are you just going to run off by wrestling before bingo halls consisting of five dead people and a bum that was lost and got their by accident. Like I care, I rather would just flush your stinking face downt he toilet like a bad turd and hope that you will never come back again. Because you are wasting my space on myspace chico!!!
And before I end the one anecdote on one dead dinosaur to move on to the next, I will have to grant you some respect unlike others. You stood up against me, put everything on the line by knowing that after the match it would be all gone for you. But you still managed to fight me and had a dream that has been dead longer than any of those other fucks have been alive. Sadly for you Senor Eggie…, your dream has ended and the nightmare has just begun.
He wipes the picture of Equinox off the board and stares at the tag champs and the first ever world champ. He sighs as he rips the Doombringer picture off the board.
Senor Vinnie: Why oh why?? Why did we have to sit through another future to be aired promo of the dead man??? Some would say that he is the bringer of doomsday like news… like the neighbors front door was open and the cat ran off…., or perhaps the fact that he is a sourpuss wannabe face dominating dead guy that has the stupidity to think that the days when then is still the way to go. HELLOO!!! When you were champion was obviously the time when Donkey Kong mattered, when cable still had to be invented and www.google.com has not even been born HELLO!!! Your stench is just as filthy as your promo’s has been boring. But that will all come to an end when the Man comes to town.
See Doombringer, I know the classics that has been a part to create the present day what will be a culminating moment for the future to come. Whereas Johnny Cash was a mastermind of many decades, something that you are wishing for to get that sensation back into the tips of your fingers isn’t it?? Well when I am done with you inside the elimination chamber, I will grace you with the feeling of sensation once again. The feeling of sadness, the feeling of disappointment, the feeling of just being an irrelevant memory that has been forgotten. Move on dead man, I am sure that there is a tombstone with your name written all over it with bad spelling or something, because the reign of Senor Vinnie hasn’t come to an end… it is just getting started as I am RED HOT!!! The El Magnifico of all magnificent Senor Vinnie has been the one that kept you down on the ground, have you roll around with the maggots. Just please Senor dead guy, please don’t start all the boring things about the hells gates have opened up, that I have to look into the eyes of the reaper and yadda yadda yadda. Because death has got a new face, it speaks musical vocabulary through the mouth of the Mariachi of Wrestling. Something that you have yet to grasp is it?? well maybe if I start to beat the living truth out of your dead ass maybe you will finally get some oxygen inside your stinking brain, cut off your hair, drop the stupid headpiece and just try something new. Who knows, maybe you are a hidden talent in the world of the unknown… you know… being the next stupid creature on the pokemon app that has taken more braincells than you have taken lives lately. Oh and before you ask?? You need to have a cellphone that is a smartphone to reach anything close to the modern world. Because you suck.
He wipes his nose and snorts before staring at the tag team champions.
Senor Vinnie: And just when you thought that Doombringer was bad, you have to deal with a twosome that calls themselves Knightmare Inc. Seriously?? Are you the knighs of the round table of bad dreams or something?? Fighting the dragons of your imagination to win the heart and hand of the sad princess that is deprived from anything close to being a man?? Seriously?? I am just shuddering at the mere thought of you guys telling the world that you will join forces and eliminate everyone before you two fight it out who will wear my belts?? To have all the gold as well??? Please!!! If anything an elimination match ahs taught me is that during that elimination match that I was victorious in that tag teams hate each other’s guts!! Because you are jealous of me, you two both are and you just can’t decide on who has the right to be jealous of me. How sad huh?? How sad to see that two men share one collective braincell and are incapable of doing what I have been doing since last freaking year.
I survive boys, I survive. I don’t care what your names are, because it doesn’t mean anything to me. Names are only tools to be remembered or forgotten and you two?? Well I know that you were at the record breaking historical fight that I entered as number one and left as number one…. Being the final person that left the ring. The only man that got the reward of two gorgeous women appreciating the gift of the mariachi that NONE of you have ever received right?? Well spoiler report bitches, I am the ONE and ONLY that matters. I am the ONE and ONLY that will survive each and every puppet pulled string doll that is going to be facing me in that square circle surrounded by an elimination chamber.
Why don’t you all just ask your doctors note to be handed to you, why don’t you two just pull a groin or something and stay home. Because a unit of two men cannot survive on your own. Because the one moment that one of you hold a singles title, the hatred grows bigger, the jealousy grows greater and the moment of judgment day will come upon you. You two should instead of facing me just thank me. You two should just realize that it is no shame on sharing glory, I do the same thing. I share it with he world of those who sit around the arena’s, that are across every country on this god forgiven planet. And then there’s the television. Oh boy, the television championship that brings me closer to the homes of your sad souls that are clueless of what greatness truly is. Well all you have to do is looking into my eyes and see the reality. The reality that I have been speaking of since day one. And I am not talking about the birth of when you are pulled out of the womb of your sweet momma, oh no. I am talking on the birth of the legacy that you either create or fail to ever come close to. close to what you may ask?? That’s right, you have no fucking clue and when that moment comes that you start to realize how things are truly consisting off…. Well you will be staring at me on your backs and hear the ring announcer utter the oh so familiar words… The winner of this match and still WORLD AND TELEISION CHAMPION!! The Mariachi of Wrestling…… Senor…. Vinnie…
Doesn’t that sound good??? No before you answer me, just remember these words and let them sink into your stinking heads… doesn’t that sound good?? It does and it is of course the only thing that is good about that!! I am without the greatest competitor that has EVER lived…. That none of all you has ever lived in the first place
So all five of you, enjoy the final moments of your pathetic existence because after this Elimination Chamber match it will the final moment that you have ever been relevant. Because sadly for you and happily for me… I have to move on to newer things…, while the five of you will be forgotten permanently… enjoy relevance.. because after this ppv it is over.
With that the shot slowly fades
this is the class of three lessons in how to educate successful people in understanding the lives of failures and not to ridicule them every single opportunity you get. Now you may ask yourself why?? Why would someone so successful like a Senor Vinnie waste his time on three lessons like this, where the answer is actually very simple and when you think of it you would do too. Of course there are three answers, to show the world that Senor Vinnie is a humanitarian, to give himself a pat on the back of doing a well done job. And, of course the most important reason… he has gotten a load full of dinero…, that is Spanish for money to sit through these three, mostly boring lessons. Well you have to suck up to get some notice don’t you?
A yawn can be heard through a hallway as the camera shoots into a small gym where we see a group of chairs in a circle where people are all facing each other. One person is doing the talking as he is mostly a groups therapist of some sorts and another figure that is just staring at his cell phone to see how late it is, even though we are merely a few minutes into the session and Senor Vinnie is already bored.
Therapist: Welcome guys and gals, welcome to the second of hopefully a weekly returning…..
The therapist is being interrupted by Senor Vinnie, who pats him on the back and shakes his head about something. The therapist nods his head and whispers something in return as he turns his focus back on the others in the group circle.
Therapist: As I was saying, welcome guys and gals as well as our special featured guest, the man of steel, the man that put the U into the Blues and the man that will ask all of you to fill in to pay him to stay here. Apparently the finances of our funds has dried up and he still is owed 10.000 dollars by the end of the week. So if you are willing to be generous in the spirit of the holiday season?? I suggest that time is right now. Okay, now that has been said, I am thrilled to say that since last week our group has now doubled ten times in comparison of last week. I want to thank you for the huge outcome and putting the name out there that we exist. I…..
The therapist turns his attention to Senor Vinnie, who interrupted him again as he was tapping him on the shoulder and whispers something into his ear.
Therapist: And of course the huge outcome of this therapy session is solely because of the presence of Senor Vinnie. Whose presence only lights our hearts in the dark days of depression that is Blue Monday, what will be upon us very shortly..
The therapist turns his attention back to Senor Vinnie, who has handed him a piece of paper with something written on it for him to read ot loud. The therapist reads it quickly before clearing up his throat and ponders whether he should, but then realizes that Senor Vinnie is owed a lot of money from him and his organization.
Therapist: Senor Vinnie wishes to give you all here a huge amount of discount as well to all of the viewers who will watch this all on television, youtube, those who are being granted snaps on snap chat as well as face book live, Twitter live and other social media outlets. All you have to do is going to www.SenorVinniecuresdepression.co.mex.com/senorita.
The therapist looks at the rest of the writing that is on the piece of paper and scratches his head before asking Senor Vinnie whether he should utter the rest of what has been written, only to be answered by a firm Senor Vinnie yes nod with his head. Causing the therapist to sigh and utter a very soft alright in the process.
Therapist: Si, what more could you ask in the most depressing day of your life. Being at home, realizing that all of your and let me rephrase that…. ALL OF YOUR GOOD INTENTIONS to start off the new year by quitting smoking, losing weight, finally finding that girl and stop being so lonely late at night when you are masturbating in bed…… errr
The therapist re reads the words that he just uttered in disbelief before staring at Senor Vinnie, who waves at him by merely saying that he needs to continue reading the note
Therapist: As well as quitting drugs, visiting your grandmother even if she lives on the other side of the city because she misses you, even the most simple task at hand that you know you should but probably ultimately fail at. Blue Monday, the most terrifying day in the history of the at that moment still short year of the many days that will still be ahead of you. THAT VERY DAY is the day that www.senorvinnie.com is going to offer his senorita’s in an effort to motivate you in advancing your efforts of fulfilling your good intentions into a successful ones. Will it be cheap?? No, but getting all these ladies over the border these days don’t come cheap. But if you wish to become anywhere near as successful as me, Senor Vinnie of course.
The therapist stares once again at Senor Vinnie and poins at him, causing the wrestler to smile as the therapist sighs. Sighing over the fact that the note expressively told him to point towards the wrestler after saying his name.
Therapist: The Senorita’s do come in different price categories, the higher the price the better your chances are to succeed and of course how pretty the senorita will become. And before you are going to claim that I am exploiting women?? Well, the Mexican women are just that… the most beautiful women on this planet…. So it’s only fitting that you show some more appreciation to their beauty and their intellect.
Suddenly a woman lifts her arm up in the air, she is in her twenties and rather attractive as she has caught Senor Vinnie’s eye from the moment she walked in.
Woman: Are there any offers for women that like men???
She giggles as she sees Senor Vinnie quickly grinning as he puts down his cell phone for the first time and stretches out to look fashionably better looking than he already did. He combs his hair with his hands and then takes a breath mint before answering the question from the young lady.
Senor Vinnie: Of course there is senorita, I personally will come to your door and help you through every single step until you reach your goal.
The woman giggles as another woman, this one is rather old and fat lifts her arm up as well.
Fat woman: You are hired!!!
Senor Vinnie rolls his eyes as he shakes his head no, he stares at the old woman with a obvious non pleasant look on his face.
Senor Vinnie: I do not help women over 200 senora
Fat woman: I’m merely 55
Senor Vinnie: I meant over 200 pounds senora, please do not harass me and don’t think I will help you if you send fake pictures. We monitor everyone in the US and beyond who wants to be helped by my rather succesfl and yet expensive treatment.
The fat old woman sinks into her chair rather disappointed in the process of being denied by the Mariachi singer/wrestler of SCW.
Fat Woman: I hope you get beaten in that Elimination Chamber you selfish prick.
Senor Vinnie once again rolls his eyes before turning to the therapist.
Therapist: Well this is the end of the session, I hope to see you all next week
Senor Vinnie: Don’t count on me jackass.
The shot fades as we see Senor Vinnie walk off.
Senor Vinnie: So here we are, just moments away from me beating five other superstars, well superstars?? Pretenders to my thrones more or less, I mean seriously. If I have to give handouts to the entire GZWA roster to obtain another championship shot, or just being in the ring with yours truly, then I would just run out of money. But I guess I am a humanitarian and I just love proving people wrong, like I have been doing the entire year… and what a year it has been has it not?
You can hear crickets on the background as Senor Vinnie is sitting on a stool on an empty stage, the only thing that is on the stage with him is the stool that he sits on and two microphones. One for the guitar and the other for himself so that he can speak through it.
Senor Vinnie: Test, test. Is this on?? Can anyone hear me???
Again crickets, but this time Senor Vinnie is smiling. Knowing that the entire place is empty because he is doing merely a tryout before the big show later today.
Senor Vinnie: Now I have been asked quite often as of late by many people of how I am handling such a glorious run as well how I deal with the every days disappointment of my opponents and give them a big boost to be focused for another ass kicking. And I have often told the world that I have intelligent fans, realizing that I am the first ever multi-tasking Senor that they have ever seen!! And when they ask me this, I tell them all the same story over and over again.
Which I will share with you as well, so sit tight and enjoy the show… because it may get bumpy.
He signals for someone behind the stage to do something as the lights go black, we hear a guitar riff of a famous rock ballad… the song that bears the same title as the final PPV of this year… Wanted Dead or Alive from Bon Jovi. We can see a spotlight shine upon Senor Vinnie as a screen emerges, the music slowly goes soft as he walks over to the screen and five faces emerge, the five faces of the men that Senor Vinnie will be facing at the Elimination Chamber for his TV and World title.
Senor Vinnie: As you can see I have put wanted signs at each and every men’s picture and it is for you to guess and me to know what I would receive if I would have brought them in for the bounty on their asses… whether it’s worth it to kill them or not… you know the usual thing a bounty hunter those days were getting paid for criminals like Billy the Kid and…. Well whatever.
And it is quite extraordinary bunch of…. Well…. What should I call these guys anyways???
He looks at their pictures and shrugs, he takes a deep breath and sighs out before continuing.
Senor Vinnie: I could say that they are a waste of my freaking time, but that would make you automatically sign off before the main event match even begins. Ergo, that’s a difficult word that you pubic picking pussies don’t understand so why bother explaining huh?? But that would mean that you would miss out a chapter of my impressive career. A career that has been me proving people wrong of the greatness of the Mariachi of wrestling
It’s funny that the last world champ at first did not saw any potential in me, but she quickly turned around big time and well….. I know you fuckers have seen how close me and the Cortez senora’s have become right?? And all of you thought you were the ones that was deservingly to be champ, why?? Good question and for each and every other super star I will try to find an answer… shall we begin??? Si?? Bueno.
He points at Mike Bradley and shakes his head before ripping the picture off the board.
Senor Vinnie: Seriously?? I have no clue besides the fact that this guy is a bum on second hand sneakers, who has a clan that aren’t Scottish. Who has got more pubes beneath his beard than you could count stars on a bright summer night. Who is falling further down the stairs of being believable and he calls me insane??? Right… but that doesn’t do our history any justice right?? No, I am going to dig deep into my memory case and find the answer that at this moment Mike is still searching or. But obviously when I give the answer there will remain more questions circling around his head than Elizabeth Taylor had ex husbands. But that’s besides the point.
He looks at the ripped pieces of the picture that he tore apparat and chuckles
Senor Vinnie: It was the firs show after my record breaking and historical victory over… well the entire roster basically. Out surviving everyone without breaking a sweat and raising my hand in victory and becoming the current world champ. Remember that Mike?? Of course you do, you have been bitching about it ever since!! Culminating into the moment that you just had to stuck your nose into my business during my championship title victory party with only two guests… the Cortez senora’s… someone that I am pretty sure that you are not… but oh well… let’s move on shall we???
Senor Vinnie Yawns as he is clearly bored in repeating that tale
Senor Vinnie: In the end you just came out, insulted the whole essence that I stand for, you did not even wipe your shoes on the carpet and well just farted your way up towards…. Well?? What was it?? you wanted a title shot… but I guess that did not go the way you wanted it to go did it??? Because you are still stupid, you are still sad and smell like a stinking bum. But who am I to judge someone else’s sad lie…., I got Oprah to do that on a regular basis as the stupid……… read a book about something… pfew I almost forgot to remember that this is a family show. But anyway…. You ultimately had to be demoted to fight for the tv title, tag titles and constantly failed…. Somehow qualified for this Elimination champion in God knows how?? And now I have to lower my standards by hopefully removing your ass from any world title or tv title contention for the next two millennia. I’m sure that you are terrible in counting, but let me assure you.. that will be a while before you ever achieve to anything again okay???
But I shouldn’t be all too harsh upon your ability…. Or lack off I should say, because I have yet to see any wrestling holds that you have mastered over how long you have been here??? The man that gloated that he was a former tv champion, a man that used his apparent past with Amanda… I mean seriously?? Did you get turned down or something??? Or did you ask for her to moon you and she just send you a picture of every moon around URANUS??? Quit sad how one should use the past to hope in ever getting any bearings of being relevant. While others like yours truly, those who just go out there and earn the damn respect that I have garnered throughout the one year plus period that I have been here. And boy, what a ride it has been huh??? But I do not have to tell you right?? You were just another stepping stone for me to kick down and shove your face in the mud. But I guess you need a loser like you like a porn star needs a fluffer to stay…. Well let’s just say the word relevant covers that package right???
He chuckles as he moves towards the next picture.
Senor Vinnie: I could go on about Mike, but that would only raise his stock that he doesn’t have. And ultimately everything that matters is about me right??? Right!!! You see, I have a former world champion to discuss, the former tv champion and two guys who I am still to this guy am wondering why they are in this match in the first place!! But I guess not having to defend your tag team titles promotes you to bigger things… things that are way over their heads like them trying to find enough dollar bills to make a cool one million. But at least they are champions, something that the rest have clearly no longer have a clue on how that must have felt. Right Eggie?
Now I know that your name is Equinox and I am sure that you probably had expected me to put your name on top of the list and to be named as the final name. The man that valiantly defended the Television championship…. Wanted to make it meaningful again…., wanted to have people challenge him from left to right and beat them…. Hoping for that one moment that he could step up another step and become world champion. A story that I am sure would make a cool fifty cents in the box office, who knows it may sell the double on DVD and Blu-Ray. The classical tale of overcoming all the odds, not listening to the advice of those who know better an try to fight the establishment. And boy you did didn’t you???
NAH AHHHHH
He bursts out in laughter as he made fun of the whole Equino reference.
Senor Vinnie: I’m sorry Eggie, but I’m not much of a Netflix tale of a bad tale going good. That’s not reality man, you were living in the moment of constantly telling yourself that you were hoping you could, that you would and why in the hell you should to begin with?
You are clearly fixated on that adrenaline rush that I am sadly have to inform you senor… you are an addict, you are wasting everyone’s time on making us believe that tale that is what makes you who you truly are… the almighty Equinox!! Just weird that after I made you tap that you get another chance in winning both titles that I have in possession??? Isn’t that technically a yes brainer for those who are stupid?El stupido, that’s how the kids would call it back in Tijuana, Mexico while running around with sticks, balls and whatever they come up with these days to keep them occupied for another five seconds. That equals your entire ability to focus on whatever it is that is necessary. I mean seriously, I beat you when your belt wasn’t on the line, I should have won that belt after I pinned Doombringer and then I made you submit. I outlasted you three times amigo, why isn’t there a three strike your out rule in this organization??? Or are these five other insignificants the best that this organization can bring to the dance??? All because they were lucky enough that Amanda Cortez retired.. because if there was ANYONE That deserved a shot… it was that fine piece of mamasita instead of you face painted freak. But I guess opinions do differ between those who claim to be a brilliant mind and the one that actually has the ability to use its very own. But that’s for those who actually paid attention to the ground breaking theory of relativity that is hand written by yours truly
Gotcha, you actually thought I would utter out the real one right?? Fuck no man!! I farted louder and more interesting when I was still in diapers to ever have people people wonder what that fuck of an Einstein ever had on me… it sure as hell isn’t the World and TV title that’s for sure!! But to everyone their supposedly spoils I suppose…. But back to you Eggie…. Are you alright?? Already planning on moving on?? I’m asking that because Fenris still wonders when you are going to collect your balls in SCW, when you have the balls to state that 2020 will be the year of your comeback and win it all in this organization.. or are you just going to run off by wrestling before bingo halls consisting of five dead people and a bum that was lost and got their by accident. Like I care, I rather would just flush your stinking face downt he toilet like a bad turd and hope that you will never come back again. Because you are wasting my space on myspace chico!!!
And before I end the one anecdote on one dead dinosaur to move on to the next, I will have to grant you some respect unlike others. You stood up against me, put everything on the line by knowing that after the match it would be all gone for you. But you still managed to fight me and had a dream that has been dead longer than any of those other fucks have been alive. Sadly for you Senor Eggie…, your dream has ended and the nightmare has just begun.
He wipes the picture of Equinox off the board and stares at the tag champs and the first ever world champ. He sighs as he rips the Doombringer picture off the board.
Senor Vinnie: Why oh why?? Why did we have to sit through another future to be aired promo of the dead man??? Some would say that he is the bringer of doomsday like news… like the neighbors front door was open and the cat ran off…., or perhaps the fact that he is a sourpuss wannabe face dominating dead guy that has the stupidity to think that the days when then is still the way to go. HELLOO!!! When you were champion was obviously the time when Donkey Kong mattered, when cable still had to be invented and www.google.com has not even been born HELLO!!! Your stench is just as filthy as your promo’s has been boring. But that will all come to an end when the Man comes to town.
See Doombringer, I know the classics that has been a part to create the present day what will be a culminating moment for the future to come. Whereas Johnny Cash was a mastermind of many decades, something that you are wishing for to get that sensation back into the tips of your fingers isn’t it?? Well when I am done with you inside the elimination chamber, I will grace you with the feeling of sensation once again. The feeling of sadness, the feeling of disappointment, the feeling of just being an irrelevant memory that has been forgotten. Move on dead man, I am sure that there is a tombstone with your name written all over it with bad spelling or something, because the reign of Senor Vinnie hasn’t come to an end… it is just getting started as I am RED HOT!!! The El Magnifico of all magnificent Senor Vinnie has been the one that kept you down on the ground, have you roll around with the maggots. Just please Senor dead guy, please don’t start all the boring things about the hells gates have opened up, that I have to look into the eyes of the reaper and yadda yadda yadda. Because death has got a new face, it speaks musical vocabulary through the mouth of the Mariachi of Wrestling. Something that you have yet to grasp is it?? well maybe if I start to beat the living truth out of your dead ass maybe you will finally get some oxygen inside your stinking brain, cut off your hair, drop the stupid headpiece and just try something new. Who knows, maybe you are a hidden talent in the world of the unknown… you know… being the next stupid creature on the pokemon app that has taken more braincells than you have taken lives lately. Oh and before you ask?? You need to have a cellphone that is a smartphone to reach anything close to the modern world. Because you suck.
He wipes his nose and snorts before staring at the tag team champions.
Senor Vinnie: And just when you thought that Doombringer was bad, you have to deal with a twosome that calls themselves Knightmare Inc. Seriously?? Are you the knighs of the round table of bad dreams or something?? Fighting the dragons of your imagination to win the heart and hand of the sad princess that is deprived from anything close to being a man?? Seriously?? I am just shuddering at the mere thought of you guys telling the world that you will join forces and eliminate everyone before you two fight it out who will wear my belts?? To have all the gold as well??? Please!!! If anything an elimination match ahs taught me is that during that elimination match that I was victorious in that tag teams hate each other’s guts!! Because you are jealous of me, you two both are and you just can’t decide on who has the right to be jealous of me. How sad huh?? How sad to see that two men share one collective braincell and are incapable of doing what I have been doing since last freaking year.
I survive boys, I survive. I don’t care what your names are, because it doesn’t mean anything to me. Names are only tools to be remembered or forgotten and you two?? Well I know that you were at the record breaking historical fight that I entered as number one and left as number one…. Being the final person that left the ring. The only man that got the reward of two gorgeous women appreciating the gift of the mariachi that NONE of you have ever received right?? Well spoiler report bitches, I am the ONE and ONLY that matters. I am the ONE and ONLY that will survive each and every puppet pulled string doll that is going to be facing me in that square circle surrounded by an elimination chamber.
Why don’t you all just ask your doctors note to be handed to you, why don’t you two just pull a groin or something and stay home. Because a unit of two men cannot survive on your own. Because the one moment that one of you hold a singles title, the hatred grows bigger, the jealousy grows greater and the moment of judgment day will come upon you. You two should instead of facing me just thank me. You two should just realize that it is no shame on sharing glory, I do the same thing. I share it with he world of those who sit around the arena’s, that are across every country on this god forgiven planet. And then there’s the television. Oh boy, the television championship that brings me closer to the homes of your sad souls that are clueless of what greatness truly is. Well all you have to do is looking into my eyes and see the reality. The reality that I have been speaking of since day one. And I am not talking about the birth of when you are pulled out of the womb of your sweet momma, oh no. I am talking on the birth of the legacy that you either create or fail to ever come close to. close to what you may ask?? That’s right, you have no fucking clue and when that moment comes that you start to realize how things are truly consisting off…. Well you will be staring at me on your backs and hear the ring announcer utter the oh so familiar words… The winner of this match and still WORLD AND TELEISION CHAMPION!! The Mariachi of Wrestling…… Senor…. Vinnie…
Doesn’t that sound good??? No before you answer me, just remember these words and let them sink into your stinking heads… doesn’t that sound good?? It does and it is of course the only thing that is good about that!! I am without the greatest competitor that has EVER lived…. That none of all you has ever lived in the first place
So all five of you, enjoy the final moments of your pathetic existence because after this Elimination Chamber match it will the final moment that you have ever been relevant. Because sadly for you and happily for me… I have to move on to newer things…, while the five of you will be forgotten permanently… enjoy relevance.. because after this ppv it is over.
With that the shot slowly fades