Post by Alkertraz on Apr 26, 2011 16:14:12 GMT -5
Alkertraz music hits over the PA System –
The capacity crowd erupts as he steps out onto the gorilla position and makes his way towards the squared circle.
Alkertraz paces the ring after asking for a microphone from the ring announcer as he waits for the crowd to calm he smiles into the crowd in appreciation.
Alkertraz - I’m not for a second going to undermine what I achieved at Riot Control, in fact give yourself a second to take it all in, so maybe you should put your kettle on and fix a nice warm brew or grab yourself a cold one if your feeling just a little parched, depending your preference grab some chip sticks and maybe some wotsits or them Doritos with selected dip, maybe you go crazy and try some exotic fruit, chow down on a tasty burrito if it takes your fancy, then sit comfortably in your namesake lazy boy with your snuggie with all treats complete and in case you wasn’t paying attention, in case you wasn’t following exactly what happened let me recap the moment in like a, little verbal reply!...
Alkertraz roles his shoulder in preparation to holding the microphone in the air pointing it down as looks up to speak into it, he playfully coughs into the microphone a few times to clear his throat.
Alkertraz - YOUR NEW GROUND ZERO NUMBER ONE!.............
Alkertraz stops in his tracks with a smile on his face as he lowers the microphone and assesses the situation with sarcasm.
Alkertraz - Well, your new ground zero part… An equal of two half’s mmm 50% of the full goal, pay full price and get refunded the difference JOINT contender and superstar in line for the greatest prestige to ever be bestowed upon within this and any business, the grandest glory in all of the given land our almighty lord sees us so fit to grace! ... The man that stands before you and some dude who verifies his own name by pointing his gibbon thumbs to himself and repeating his name because he’s brains to slow to function it doesn’t matter how many times you say it, weather it be the first or 100th time it’s still as boring and numb founding as the last… Or he don’t understand he’s repeating himself cause the son bitch has Alzheimer's, the son bitch has Alzheimer’s, the son bitch…………
The crowd pops as Alkertraz smiles in appreciation at his own mock then gets back to business.
Alkertraz - Either or way the fruity tight wearing, thumb pointing “this is where I am” and this is my name again and again just in case you have forgotten because of just how damn boring I am Rob Van I’ve got stD’s debuts this company and like a cat jumping from a burning building lands on his feet and for metaphor sake probably then put the fire out by pissing on it and saves the damn day, finds himself in a number one contender spot for the world championship... Now this is where you could say it gets interesting if it ain’t already but I don’t know how a man goes from entering the revolving doors for the first time thinking about what his next move will be to make an impact in this company just to get noticed to headlining a forthcoming event for the gold in a single night. If your feathers aren’t ruffling right now with confusion and maybe a little conspiracy then you wouldn’t be human but on the other hand blah, blah, blah, BLAH!...
Alkertraz pacing the ring for a moment waiting for the crowds cheers to calm before raising the microphone.
Alkertraz - I couldn’t give a damn hell if the seven dwarfs marched there little funky asses to the ring on there debut with matching ying yang RVD attire with shovels ta boot to help there course and won, I couldn’t care less if king kong, robin hood and his merry men were my joint contenders or whether Andre the Giant’s spirit guided you. At the end of the day when the time presents itself I will slap the taste outta your mouth, there mouth, his mouth and maybe your grandmothers mouth just to see the look on her face!... And I WILL NOT STOP until I have that gold is around my waist…
Alkertraz looks into the camera with intent.
Alkertraz - And if you think for one second you got this crowd enthralled by cheering your name take note my little spandex wearing friend!...
Alkertraz raises the microphone and points it into the crowd as a gradually building chant fills the arena gaining momentum as others catch on “Alkertraz, Alkertraz, ALKERTRAZ, ALKERTRAZ”. The entire capacity crowd chant his name in unison as it rings throughout for all to hear “ALKERTRAZ, ALKERTRAZ!!, ALKERTRAZ!!, ALKERTRAZ!!!!” Alkertraz stands there basking in the chant with a satisfied smile on his face nodding his head as the chants continue, his music re hits over the PA System as he makes his way towards the gorilla position making his way backstage and down the stairs as the chants fade in the background. One of the Ground Zero staff hands Alkertraz a piece of paper, opening it he smiles in liking what he sees. Alkertraz gestures for the cameraman to approach.
Alkertraz - It’s just been presented to me at this up and coming primetime I will be lacing my boots and standing side by side with not only my fellow number one contender, not only with the tattoo goddess of our company but the current ground zero champion himself... That’s right, so now your thinking who on earth can you be facing Alkertraz if that’s who your suppose to coincide with?!... Well let me have a little run down for you!...
Mocking the big show Alkertraz raises his hand in a chokeslam motion.
Alkertraz - AHHHUUUHHHH AHHHH!!!... You big 7 foot dummy, I’ve seen transsexuals on stag dos in Brighton that are more intimidating than you, the worlds largest douchebag and his size 22 boots that could crush a horse and his 64 double F tits that Kane suckles on, on them lonely, cold nights together. You can scream and shout all you please you 500lbs of biodegradable bullshit cause when your planning on holding hands with Kane and maybe then thinking about double chokeslaming me if you don’t get carried away, I’ll be hacking at your legs and your polished head with a nice steel chair then when your on your knees begging for me to pin you I’m gonna make you kiss Amanda’s little feet… AHHUUHHHHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!...
Alkertraz mockingly imitates Big show a seconds time before taking a moment to think.
Alkertraz - And if you think I’ve forgot about you Kane, your truly mistaken and I even though there was at least a slight mutual respect since our little encounter about a month back, I guess I can still respect you! OR… I can forget the whole damn scenario ever accrued and avert my eyes and think about business cause I got a little feeling when Primetime roles around you ain’t gonna think twice about anything bar destroying me and picking up the win so here’s to you, you big red riding hood as your making your way towards the ring with the wolf bearing down on your back, stay with me the metaphor get’s better!... As your going to visit your grandmother who stands in the ring who obviously is played by the Big “NO” Show, the big granny pants wearing gibbon I’m gonna be on the prowl but this story doesn’t end like that of the book Kane you see this wolf tears you two son bitches TO THE GROUND!...
Alkertraz points to the ground with passion in gesture to what he said before acting relaxed again.
Alkertraz - And as goes for the mystery opponent, I just hope for your sakes it’s not another human atrocity or freak of nature cause with the brain capacity between you it will be like coming toe to toe with Homer Simpson, Pedro Sanchez from Napoleon Dynamite and Patrick from Spongebob square pants, not a brain cell between them, eating there own body weight in all you can eat and probably beating each other up, at least bring some competition……………………………………….
Before Alkertraz can finish his sentence out of no where a steel chair collides with great velocity wrapping the chair around Alkertraz’s skull, the chair is then thrown to Alkertraz, he catches it as he staggers back disorientated, Rob Van Dam steps into shot with a vicious Van Daminator knocking Alkertraz clean out and opening him up in the process for good measure. Rob Van Dam stands over looking down on Alkertraz’s bloody carcass with a great smile on his face before turning to the camera proud and points to himself smiling miming saying "R.V.D". As Rob Van Dam walks out of camera shot GZWA official cameras stay focused on the destroyed body of Alkertraz as GZWA fades to a commercial break.
The capacity crowd erupts as he steps out onto the gorilla position and makes his way towards the squared circle.
Alkertraz paces the ring after asking for a microphone from the ring announcer as he waits for the crowd to calm he smiles into the crowd in appreciation.
Alkertraz - I’m not for a second going to undermine what I achieved at Riot Control, in fact give yourself a second to take it all in, so maybe you should put your kettle on and fix a nice warm brew or grab yourself a cold one if your feeling just a little parched, depending your preference grab some chip sticks and maybe some wotsits or them Doritos with selected dip, maybe you go crazy and try some exotic fruit, chow down on a tasty burrito if it takes your fancy, then sit comfortably in your namesake lazy boy with your snuggie with all treats complete and in case you wasn’t paying attention, in case you wasn’t following exactly what happened let me recap the moment in like a, little verbal reply!...
Alkertraz roles his shoulder in preparation to holding the microphone in the air pointing it down as looks up to speak into it, he playfully coughs into the microphone a few times to clear his throat.
Alkertraz - YOUR NEW GROUND ZERO NUMBER ONE!.............
Alkertraz stops in his tracks with a smile on his face as he lowers the microphone and assesses the situation with sarcasm.
Alkertraz - Well, your new ground zero part… An equal of two half’s mmm 50% of the full goal, pay full price and get refunded the difference JOINT contender and superstar in line for the greatest prestige to ever be bestowed upon within this and any business, the grandest glory in all of the given land our almighty lord sees us so fit to grace! ... The man that stands before you and some dude who verifies his own name by pointing his gibbon thumbs to himself and repeating his name because he’s brains to slow to function it doesn’t matter how many times you say it, weather it be the first or 100th time it’s still as boring and numb founding as the last… Or he don’t understand he’s repeating himself cause the son bitch has Alzheimer's, the son bitch has Alzheimer’s, the son bitch…………
The crowd pops as Alkertraz smiles in appreciation at his own mock then gets back to business.
Alkertraz - Either or way the fruity tight wearing, thumb pointing “this is where I am” and this is my name again and again just in case you have forgotten because of just how damn boring I am Rob Van I’ve got stD’s debuts this company and like a cat jumping from a burning building lands on his feet and for metaphor sake probably then put the fire out by pissing on it and saves the damn day, finds himself in a number one contender spot for the world championship... Now this is where you could say it gets interesting if it ain’t already but I don’t know how a man goes from entering the revolving doors for the first time thinking about what his next move will be to make an impact in this company just to get noticed to headlining a forthcoming event for the gold in a single night. If your feathers aren’t ruffling right now with confusion and maybe a little conspiracy then you wouldn’t be human but on the other hand blah, blah, blah, BLAH!...
Alkertraz pacing the ring for a moment waiting for the crowds cheers to calm before raising the microphone.
Alkertraz - I couldn’t give a damn hell if the seven dwarfs marched there little funky asses to the ring on there debut with matching ying yang RVD attire with shovels ta boot to help there course and won, I couldn’t care less if king kong, robin hood and his merry men were my joint contenders or whether Andre the Giant’s spirit guided you. At the end of the day when the time presents itself I will slap the taste outta your mouth, there mouth, his mouth and maybe your grandmothers mouth just to see the look on her face!... And I WILL NOT STOP until I have that gold is around my waist…
Alkertraz looks into the camera with intent.
Alkertraz - And if you think for one second you got this crowd enthralled by cheering your name take note my little spandex wearing friend!...
Alkertraz raises the microphone and points it into the crowd as a gradually building chant fills the arena gaining momentum as others catch on “Alkertraz, Alkertraz, ALKERTRAZ, ALKERTRAZ”. The entire capacity crowd chant his name in unison as it rings throughout for all to hear “ALKERTRAZ, ALKERTRAZ!!, ALKERTRAZ!!, ALKERTRAZ!!!!” Alkertraz stands there basking in the chant with a satisfied smile on his face nodding his head as the chants continue, his music re hits over the PA System as he makes his way towards the gorilla position making his way backstage and down the stairs as the chants fade in the background. One of the Ground Zero staff hands Alkertraz a piece of paper, opening it he smiles in liking what he sees. Alkertraz gestures for the cameraman to approach.
Alkertraz - It’s just been presented to me at this up and coming primetime I will be lacing my boots and standing side by side with not only my fellow number one contender, not only with the tattoo goddess of our company but the current ground zero champion himself... That’s right, so now your thinking who on earth can you be facing Alkertraz if that’s who your suppose to coincide with?!... Well let me have a little run down for you!...
Mocking the big show Alkertraz raises his hand in a chokeslam motion.
Alkertraz - AHHHUUUHHHH AHHHH!!!... You big 7 foot dummy, I’ve seen transsexuals on stag dos in Brighton that are more intimidating than you, the worlds largest douchebag and his size 22 boots that could crush a horse and his 64 double F tits that Kane suckles on, on them lonely, cold nights together. You can scream and shout all you please you 500lbs of biodegradable bullshit cause when your planning on holding hands with Kane and maybe then thinking about double chokeslaming me if you don’t get carried away, I’ll be hacking at your legs and your polished head with a nice steel chair then when your on your knees begging for me to pin you I’m gonna make you kiss Amanda’s little feet… AHHUUHHHHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!...
Alkertraz mockingly imitates Big show a seconds time before taking a moment to think.
Alkertraz - And if you think I’ve forgot about you Kane, your truly mistaken and I even though there was at least a slight mutual respect since our little encounter about a month back, I guess I can still respect you! OR… I can forget the whole damn scenario ever accrued and avert my eyes and think about business cause I got a little feeling when Primetime roles around you ain’t gonna think twice about anything bar destroying me and picking up the win so here’s to you, you big red riding hood as your making your way towards the ring with the wolf bearing down on your back, stay with me the metaphor get’s better!... As your going to visit your grandmother who stands in the ring who obviously is played by the Big “NO” Show, the big granny pants wearing gibbon I’m gonna be on the prowl but this story doesn’t end like that of the book Kane you see this wolf tears you two son bitches TO THE GROUND!...
Alkertraz points to the ground with passion in gesture to what he said before acting relaxed again.
Alkertraz - And as goes for the mystery opponent, I just hope for your sakes it’s not another human atrocity or freak of nature cause with the brain capacity between you it will be like coming toe to toe with Homer Simpson, Pedro Sanchez from Napoleon Dynamite and Patrick from Spongebob square pants, not a brain cell between them, eating there own body weight in all you can eat and probably beating each other up, at least bring some competition……………………………………….
Before Alkertraz can finish his sentence out of no where a steel chair collides with great velocity wrapping the chair around Alkertraz’s skull, the chair is then thrown to Alkertraz, he catches it as he staggers back disorientated, Rob Van Dam steps into shot with a vicious Van Daminator knocking Alkertraz clean out and opening him up in the process for good measure. Rob Van Dam stands over looking down on Alkertraz’s bloody carcass with a great smile on his face before turning to the camera proud and points to himself smiling miming saying "R.V.D". As Rob Van Dam walks out of camera shot GZWA official cameras stay focused on the destroyed body of Alkertraz as GZWA fades to a commercial break.
