Post by Eddie Kingston on Jun 26, 2011 13:17:44 GMT -5
"Really GZWA? This is who you put me against this week..."
The face of Brad Kane appears on the screen. He's shaking his head obviously upset with who he has to face this week.
"A juggalo? A straight edge one to boot. Isn't that kind of like an ironic moniker? When I've seen juggalos, Ryan Kendrick, they've always been loud and annoying. Much like their two idols they look up to, those stupid clowns."
Appears just thinking about ICP and their fans is enough to make his skin boil. Brad rubs his eyes in disgust while trying to think of how to keep this as clean as he possibly can.
"Lemme put this bluntly. I wish death on ICP and all of their juggalos. You're all stains walking the face of this earth and you should be all put on an island and blown the hell up. You people offer no redeeming value to anyone. I know that's gonna get me quite a few threats from people but whatever, I've gotten them before.
And what's more you're part of the straight edge movement because of someone who looks like me. Though I admit I'm better looking then he is. No matter as you're part of the two biggest fads in the world. Are you so blind that you have to follow these ideals that someone else has made? You can't live your life by your own terms can you?"
He takes a moment to pause if nothing more for dramatic effect.
"But Ryan Kendrick don't get the impression I'm selling you short. No not at all. I just hate your two factions that you claim. Well I don't hate straight edge but it annoys me. All these kids running around claiming it when they've never tried a drop of alcohol. My best friend a few years ago was a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Nearly killed my marriage because of him but that's a different story for a different time. I'm not an alcoholic but I'm sure my mentioning of just enjoying the occasional beer is enough for you to loathe me. I know how some of the straight edge followers get. I've seen the hardliners before. I've seen them beat someone down in the middle of the street for smoking, for having a Red Bull. That's why I hate those who claim straight edge.
See what I'm sayin'?"
Brad stands up from the chair he was sitting in his office chair. This is the place where he'll do a majority of his promos. So many things on the walls from his career.
"But what annoys me more then you being straight edge is being a juggalo. Though I feel as if I've gone through that already. On Primetime I'm aiming to keep this little unbeaten streak in real matches going. Sure I got tossed out of that battle royal a few weeks back on pay per view but since then, I haven't lost.
I beat that apple spittin' moron Carlito last week. So when I take out the Straight Edge Juggalo this week it'll feel so much sweeter because its a kind of person I loathe. Ryan Kendrick, you familiar with Family Feud? You know where they survey people. They took a survey about you. You know what it said?"
Here comes another dramatic effect pause.
"You're dead."
Brad ends this with a finger gunshot before clicking a few things to turn off the feed.
The face of Brad Kane appears on the screen. He's shaking his head obviously upset with who he has to face this week.
"A juggalo? A straight edge one to boot. Isn't that kind of like an ironic moniker? When I've seen juggalos, Ryan Kendrick, they've always been loud and annoying. Much like their two idols they look up to, those stupid clowns."
Appears just thinking about ICP and their fans is enough to make his skin boil. Brad rubs his eyes in disgust while trying to think of how to keep this as clean as he possibly can.
"Lemme put this bluntly. I wish death on ICP and all of their juggalos. You're all stains walking the face of this earth and you should be all put on an island and blown the hell up. You people offer no redeeming value to anyone. I know that's gonna get me quite a few threats from people but whatever, I've gotten them before.
And what's more you're part of the straight edge movement because of someone who looks like me. Though I admit I'm better looking then he is. No matter as you're part of the two biggest fads in the world. Are you so blind that you have to follow these ideals that someone else has made? You can't live your life by your own terms can you?"
He takes a moment to pause if nothing more for dramatic effect.
"But Ryan Kendrick don't get the impression I'm selling you short. No not at all. I just hate your two factions that you claim. Well I don't hate straight edge but it annoys me. All these kids running around claiming it when they've never tried a drop of alcohol. My best friend a few years ago was a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Nearly killed my marriage because of him but that's a different story for a different time. I'm not an alcoholic but I'm sure my mentioning of just enjoying the occasional beer is enough for you to loathe me. I know how some of the straight edge followers get. I've seen the hardliners before. I've seen them beat someone down in the middle of the street for smoking, for having a Red Bull. That's why I hate those who claim straight edge.
See what I'm sayin'?"
Brad stands up from the chair he was sitting in his office chair. This is the place where he'll do a majority of his promos. So many things on the walls from his career.
"But what annoys me more then you being straight edge is being a juggalo. Though I feel as if I've gone through that already. On Primetime I'm aiming to keep this little unbeaten streak in real matches going. Sure I got tossed out of that battle royal a few weeks back on pay per view but since then, I haven't lost.
I beat that apple spittin' moron Carlito last week. So when I take out the Straight Edge Juggalo this week it'll feel so much sweeter because its a kind of person I loathe. Ryan Kendrick, you familiar with Family Feud? You know where they survey people. They took a survey about you. You know what it said?"
Here comes another dramatic effect pause.
"You're dead."
Brad ends this with a finger gunshot before clicking a few things to turn off the feed.
